Monday, January 31, 2011

Working On a Plan

We have a huge snow storm coming in overnight so I am really glad I don't have to leave the house for work at all this week. I did sign up to be on call a few of the days after the snow in case the office is closed.

I have spent a lot of today working on a better resume and thinking of what I really want to do. There are many positions a social worker can take. I need to put a plan in place with some goals. For example if I want to work in a hospital I need to check the hospital job boards frequently. I could also ask people I know who work in a hospital to help me get in touch with a hospital social worker so I could learn more about what they do. I could also find out what different types of positions social workers take in hospitals. Then I could make a plan to begin networking with the right people and acquiring any education necessary.

That is just an example but I am sure it applies to just about any position I would consider. I do like being able to work at home but I also miss being around people sometimes. This is also a long term plan not a goal I expect to reach in the next few months. While I like the job I have now in the future I would like to make more money but only if it is in my field. I don't want another job at a factory or an automotive shop just to make more money.

I don't plan to move out of the area any time soon so I don't see that 15-20 dollar an hour stable social work job in my near future. Do I believe I will get one eventually? I certainly do, but for now I like my current job and every extra penny counts.

So I will search on for anything and everything I can do to get into a position that will help me to get a job in my field even if that means I have to work weekends and all my evenings off. I just have to sacrifice until I get the right job or right combination of jobs

Also for those of you following my weight loss journey I think I am going back to roughly counting calories. It is actually a bit easier for me right now that trying so hard to just eat fruit, lean meat and veggies. I can plan low calorie meals better than I seem to be able to plan low carb meals. In the spring I might look at the low carb thing again. That is when fresh fruit and veggies taste good and last.

I bought a lot of yogurt this week (all natural Dannon) and some V8 fusion. The V8 is so I can get fruits and veggies in one drink and I just like yogurt. I have not been working out the last week but I am planning to start again soon. I got off track when I got sick and now I have to get back into the swing of things.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Feeling Human Again

Well the last few days I have felt like I was run over by a bus. I thought I was just sore from working out at first and then the sinuses started to go crazy and I realized I was getting sore all over not just the muscles I worked.

 I spent most of Wednesday and Thursday on the couch or in bed. Sadly I ate what sounded good and I didn't work out. So I am going to have a lot of work to do this next week.

I did spend some time yesterday looking for a second part time job. I like my job so I am not looking to quit but I don't like that I have to pick up hours as they become available and on top of that I have to keep checking. I do have one regular shift so I can be selective and wait for the right job with the right hours. I thought I would like the floating hours but I really don't. I like to have set hours for the most part.

I am not freaking out but I am hoping to get something more specific to my degree. That might mean I have to work weekends but I can live with that if it gets me closer to a good paying job in my field. I did go to school to be a social worker and I want to do that now. I know that it is not the highest paying field out there but I can make quite a bit more than I do now if I start taking on any job that gives me more experience.

I am working on getting some free continuing education credits in a little at a time now so I am not rushed at the end of my two year mark this time. I do have until September 2012 to complete them so that won't be hard. I would love to get into a hospital or a university. I know those jobs are hard to come by so I don't expect that any time soon. I need to rack up the experience and get my name out there. I am in a job that I like so the hope is that I can find additional work to further my experience.

Monday, January 24, 2011

My Day

Well today I got up at noon and answered phones for work for two hours starting at 1:30. Then I had to go meet the tenants that moved out a few weeks ago to walk through the place with them. Then we went to a market and a grocery store.

I got a lot of veggies for the week but I didn't like what I did with them and I cooked a few portions. I am not sure if some of the veggies tasted bad or if they didn't taste good with soy sauce. I am going to try another sauce next time.

I did buy myself one of those tiny boxes of conversation hearts because I love them. My hubby always seems irritated at the price of a box over that of a bag. I just wanted a little and if you can't stop yourself from eating the whole bag it is well worth the extra money to get the box. I did find a box for 25 cents so it wasn't that bad but you can get 10 times that much in a bag for less than two buck. I have been pretty good about not buying candy so the hubby didn't seem to care today.

Tonight I plan to do an hour of cardio boxing on the Xbox. My arms are really sore from yesterday but it kept my heart rate up and it was fun. I turned the trainers voice down and used my own music. I am not really sure where this day went but since I stay up until about 3-4 in the morning it is not that far gone. I have about six hours to go.

Todays Work Out
1 hour of cardio boxing

Todays meals
Coffee with milk (most of a pot and no idea how much milk)
1 piece of whole grain bread with peanut butter

2 small pieces of chicken maybe 2.5 ounces

I have had about a handful of almonds between meals as well.

2 small pieces of chicken maybe 2.5 ounces
Zuchini, onion, carrot and mushrooms stir fried in a small amount of butter soy sauce and mirin. (I made three portions of this so I will call it stir-fry veggies)

I plan to have the the chicken and stir-fry veggies for my 4th meal and because I have been snacking on almonds I will just have an apple for my fifth meal.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Fingers Crossed

Well my fingers are crossed I did about an hour of this video game today and it didn't freeze . The difference is I made my own workouts. I made a cardio boxing workout by filling all the slots with boxing until I hit 30 minutes. I also made a mixed shorter workout to test it.

There is nothing more frustrating than having the game freeze up on you in the middle of a workout and not saving any of your progress. Xbox did an update and a lot of things changed so I thought I would try it again. Tonight went fine so I will try it again tomorrow.

As you can see by the link on the side they lowered the price another ten dollars since I bought it. I think if they fixed the bugs it will be well worth the money. I really like the make your own program feature as long as it works and I don't have to keep starting over I will keep using this as a work out tool.

Pizza Made My Week.

So last night I broke down and got pizza and by the end of today I will have eaten a whole medium. I think I am going to let myself do that once in awhile. I still feel good and I am actually in the mood to get more done today because I am not just thinking about food.

We go to the store tomorrow so I can get more variety in my healthy meals. I can't take too many more days of chicken and broccoli. I don't like a lot of veggies but I like fresh mushrooms, zucchini and bean sprouts. I like salads too but I doubt I will find many good looking salad ingredients this time of the year.

I tried some clothes on and I am just a few pounds off from fitting nicely into some of my skirts that I made this summer. I was really excited to see that my stomach is loosing weight this time. I looked nice in quite a few outfits I tried on. Not great but much better.

It helps me stay motivated to do this once in a while. I didn't do the greatest cardio workout yesterday it was only a half an hour of step and boxing moves I made up but I did do a killer arm workout. More than the one that left me sore for days last time. Today I am just mildly sore and hope to do a killer lower body workout tonight and maybe a similar cardio workout but try to go longer and keep the heart rate up higher.

I need to start doing more core exercises but I don't know that many. I just know crunches and other floor exercises that kill my back. There has to be something I can do that won't make me need a pain killer for the back pain. It is not the lying on the floor it is the upward sit up or crunch motion. So I am open to any other type of ab exercises you all know about.

Well off to get some more stuff done around here. I think it would be a good thing to put away the loads of laundry that are in baskets as well as the stuff I tried on and didn't put away.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Food is my Enemy

Right now I think I could eat my own weight in junk food. I am not really that hungry I just want it. The picture I posted is of candy but my cravings are more varied than that.

What I really want is a whole pizza with bacon and pineapple on it and a burger with onion rings. I am really glad that I have been eating smaller meals because if my cravings get the best of me at least I fill up faster.

Lucky for me I don't have any of these items in my house and I don't plan to go anywhere today. My hubby might want to go out for dinner but I doubt that. I really don't know why I have such a love/hate relationship with food. I really love the way junk food tastes but I hate what it makes me look and fell like. I had a not so great food day yesterday but the worst thing I had was a cup of hot chocolate. I have done very well today but I can't get my mind off of food.

I really do wish I was one of those women who could eat what she wanted to and keep her figure. I am not and it seems that everything I eat turns to fat. I can eat a 1000 calorie diet for weeks and barely loose weight.   That is why I am not counting calories or getting on the scale everyday. I feel like one burger ends up attached to my ass and a piece of pizza right to my gut. There is no winning for me unless I eat a diet of chicken and vegetables. Can I just say YUCK. I can stand it for quite some times and I can get creative in the spring and summer with fresh veggies that really are good but in the winter I am mostly stuck with frozen stuff. I have fruit too but again the winter selection of fresh fruit is not awesome.

Oh well I am stuck with this body and the only way to change it is to eat light and work out. I REALLY can't wait until spring when I can spend more time outdoors as exercise and can find better fresh fruit and veggies.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Evil is Everywhere

Well I want to complain a little today. I am on a diet in a loose sense of the word but really I am. Why is it that I never noticed all the food billboards around town until now?

I can not have that good looking pizza or the ice cream or donuts. I also noticed as I watch episodes of television shows from Netflix that hot super skinny girls eat whatever they want. They eat fries, and nacho's and bread and pasta and well whatever desert they want.

Really I don't even want to be that skinny but it seems like if I eat one fast food burger and fries I put on 5 pounds. It really is not fair and it is also not realistic. I am sure if they are even eating the foods in these shows that all they eat is what you see them eat. A bite or two of the food and that is that. I know some people can eat like that and not suffer from a huge belly and flab on the extremities. I think the majority of human beings do suffer the consequences from a diet like depicted in television shows.

I am just a tad bit sensitive right now. I am trying really hard not to eat too much to not eat a lot of junk food. I have been somewhat successful but not as much as I would like. I have a weakness for sweets and I have trouble satisfying those cravings with fruit. I also could eat pizza everyday and never get sick of it so that is a huge issue for me.

Is it to crazy to say that the media in all its forms is evil and wants me to fail. Okay I know that is crazy but I do wish they would stop acting like a diet of fried foods, pizza and buckets of ice cream are staples of the diet of a 95 pound actress. I mean how many times have you seen a movie with a weepy woman eating a whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream and she still looks like a model???

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I Want Junk Food!

Well last night I did my hour on the treadmill and I ate well all day. Today I have been dying for Pizza and whatever junk food I can think of. I can't say I was really bad but I had some of the Weight Watchers Smart Ones Mini Pizzas in the freezer. I had that for a meal and it helped with the cravings. Here is how my days look for meals:
Meal #1 Peanut-butter on Whole wheat toast and coffee with milk
Meal #2 Chicken and broccoli (separate or in a stir-fry)
Meal #3 Chicken and Apple or Bannana
Meal #4 Chicken and veggies or fruit
Meal #5 Chicken and veggies or fruit

I allow myself to pick from the veggies or fruit I have on hand and I try to make enough at dinner most days to feed me the next day. I don't count calories and I bake or stir-fry the chicken most of the time. I use sauces and marinades for the chicken so it is not boring. If I decide to have something bad I substitute something. Also I sometimes have a glass of milk or juice as well.

I eat small meals about every three hours that way I don't start to feel real hungry in between. I am getting to the point where I feel full with less food already. I am going to keep this up and try to make my portion sizes more consistent but right now I am working on getting used to the five meals a day. It takes a lot of planning but it is working. I am also allowing for some cheat meals now and then because I just can't stay on a diet unless I can eat what I want sometimes.

Tonight I am going to do some step aerobics and strength training. I am still sore from the Tuesday but I need to keep it up. I may have to wait a day for upper body but I can still do the lower body. I shouldn't be surprised at how weak my arms are but I am just as sore today as I was yesterday.

The hope is by the end of February to be down at least a size. I am afraid to go on weight because when I do strength training I tend to gain and loose at strange rates. I know I can do this I just have to work hard and not give up. The hardest part right now is cooking so much. I hate cooking and I really can't wait until spring when I don't freeze to death taking the meat to the grill. I like grilled chicken better than baked and I can spend one afternoon cooking for days. Grilled chicken heats up better too for some reason.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Having Trouble Moving Today!

Well I did work out a lot yesterday. I had to work a day shift Monday and then a overnight shift Tuesday-Wednesday so needless to say I was having trouble staying awake. I put my step (for step aerobics) next to my desk and when I felt like I might dose off I got up and walked up and down for a few minutes. I know that is not really a work out per say but it did help me stay awake. Moving is a good method for staying awake.

Before that I did a ton of strength training exercises. Mostly for the arms and the legs and I am really feeling it today, especially in the arms. I am going to be up late tonight so I am planning on doing an hour on the elliptical or treadmill.

I have already lost 2.5 pounds in a week. I am really excited about that. I did start weighing but I don't do it constantly. If I think about it in the morning I weight if I don't I just wait until the next morning.

Also my hubby has been sick so the dog is making me crazy. She wants a walk really bad and it is snowy and icy outside and I don't want to get out into it. So I am going to have to find something to do with her inside this evening. She has been on the treadmill and I think I will throw a toy down the stairs for her to fetch. We had freezing rain last night so the ice is really bad and not good for walking. If it clears up tomorrow and the sun is shining I may take her for a walk after my meeting.

I have to go make a meal I am past my time. Tonight I make chicken stir-fry no rice for me but plenty of veggies and meat.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Working, Exercising and Cooking Healthy

So today I worked from 9am-5pm and still managed to get my meals in. I can't seem to manage no bread so I have decided to have a piece of peanut-butter toast once a day when I just can't stay away from the bread. It is high fiber whole grain bread so it is not that bad.

Most of my meals are made and I just heat them and eat while I am working. I am eating about 5 small meals a day. I am was having trouble with some hunger today so I had a cup of milk.

I have chicken in the oven with enough left overs for the next day plus two extra parts of chicken from last night. Hopefully I can remember to keep this up. I am also going to have to grab some shrimp for something I can cook quickly with some veggies and stir-fry sauce.

I spent an hour on my elliptical last night and plan to do that again tonight. I have to stay up late because I have to work tomorrow from 6:45pm -Wednesday 7:15am. So what better way than to make myself work out.

I am still worried about the eating thing tomorrow because even if I stay up later tonight I will be up for 18+ hours tomorrow so I will have to split the food into six meals and I am sure I will want at least one extra meal. I really need to get healthy and I am very motivated to do so. I guess I just have to take it one step at a time.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Diet and Exercise and Lunch with Mom

So I was gone most of today with my mom. I am going to get on my elliptical in about an hour and then maybe a bubble bath before bed. I have to work 9-5 tomorrow. Those are day shift hours then night shift the next day.

I did pretty well today with my eating. I have been eating hard boiled egg whites for breakfast. And mostly baked chicken and veggies or fruit for my other meals. Even for lunch I had meat and vegetables. I had one bite of brown rice and decided more veggies was better.

I am going to have a piece of whole grain bread with some peanut butter and a cup of milk before I work out. Then tomorrow I have all of my protein portions ready to go. I am eating 5 small meals. I have fruit or veggies ready to go with my protein.

My mom and I talked a lot about how we used to eat and work out and what worked for us then. We went to a personal trainer at the same time and we looked over the meal plans she saved. I never could follow the strict diet but I modified it to fit my life. I think one of the big things is the 5 small meals instead of three big ones with crappy snack foods in the middle. I also need to do more strength training but I have been on top of that the last week and a half or so.

On that note I also want to get more cardio in but as anyone who reads this blog knows the epileptic makes a strange noise. When I called about it they said that using it wouldn't void my warranty but I am worried. Well that was before Christmas and I still can't get the repair man to call me back. I have called and left several messages and he just has not called back. I am going to have to call Sole again and get them to call Fitness Tech and have them call me a new repair man. I even called the middleman and left a message and they didn't call me back. Really frustrated about that so I am just going to get on the elliptical tonight and not worry about it. It is not really a loud noise.

I need an hour on the elliptical today and I am going to work on the strength program so I don't need to do any extra strength training today. Hopefully tomorrow I will get some upper body training in and a hills program on the elliptical

Saturday, January 15, 2011

All in one update

I am sitting here enjoying a cup of hot chocolate as my treat for the day. I ate very well today and most of yesterday. I worked out last night while I watched a movie and I plan to do a video or something tonight.

I had a good day over all even though I still didn't get a lot of housework done. I have a few fun ideas to tie into my Dark Novels blog not sure how yet. Thanks to my mom who started me on a new thinking track.

I am taking my mom out to lunch for her birthday tomorrow and I can't wait for some one on one time with her. We used to spend a lot more time together but our lives have changed.

So I am going to eat what I want at lunch tomorrow but I am working on a diet plan. Well sort of a diet plan it is going to be more like a stay away from certain foods most of the time thing and it is going to be try and see what works. My thoughts are along the lines of eating a lot of chicken and veggies or fruit. I like egg whites just about any way I can fix them and they will serve as morning protein a few days a week.

It will be a low carb diet....well that is not really right when I am ready to eat the right kinds of breads I can eat bread. Whole grain only and not the kind that says whole grains added on a Cookie Crisp cereal box kind of whole grains. I know I am always looking for an excuse to buy that nice looking pastry with 5 cups of sugar in just one serving but I am not going to let myself even if it claims to have 10 whole grains and added calcium.

I have some things in the house that need to be eaten and I am going to work those into a meal plan. Like on a day that I eat really well I can have a muffin for desert. I can bake things and freeze them and plan for them as a part of balancing my healthy food with foods I love that are not so healthy. I am NOT going to count calories that just makes me crazy. I am not going to measure my food and have fits if I have to grab some fast food once in a while.

I am going to keep something like hot chocolate around to curb the sweet cravings for awhile but I am going to be careful how much I have. Sweets and breads are my enemy.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Vampires on The Brain

Well I am just feeling like someone sucked the life out of me today. I think I am probably not suffering from a vampire bite but from sugar withdrawal. I would prefer to tell people that I have been bitten by a vampire because it is embarrassing to realize how addicted I have become to sweets. I have a bad headache today and I really wanted to get more done around the house.

I still have plenty of time so I took some almonds and coated them in a yummy cinnamon and sugar mix and ate a handful. I also took some pain reliever for the headache. I was trying to really reduce my sugar intake but maybe I have had way too much for way to long. I didn't realize how much I was eating until I tried to stop eating it. I did really well yesterday and now I regret it but I am guessing after a few days this will die down.

So things here are not rolling as smooth as I hoped yesterday. Next time I have a headache though I am not going to wait and see if it gets better. I am going to take something right away and get moving. On the plus side I have not wasted all morning. I have been researching ways to make my blogs better. I got a book review for Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy, Book 1) done. I got the dishes unloaded from the dishwasher and started another load.

I plan to do laundry, finish cleaning the downstairs and workout yet tonight. I am usually up until at least midnight so that leaves me at least 6-7 hours to get some work done.

I have decided not to spend a lot of time this week clicking ads and widgets to promote my blogs. I might do a little of that but it is becoming tiring and I would much prefer to read some of my favorite blogs and write quality posts. I want to get my Dark Novels blog in tip top shape and then start working on this blog.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Starting Over

Last night I was extremely tired and yet I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about all the things I want to do and just didn't have the motivation to do. I have been lazy and I just make excuses for myself. I remembered a time in my life when I was great at well everything I did.

I was not perfect but I was disciplined and I worked at everything for the God I believe in. Not for myself or for recognition just to be the best woman I could in His eyes. I felt prompted to get the devotional book out that started me on that path. It is called  Beautiful in God's Eyes: The Treasures of the Proverbs 31 Woman (George, Elizabeth (Insp))

Now I am not in total agreement about some of the things this book says but I think there is more good than bad. I have issues with the submissive wife thing that is usually going on in these books. I believe more in an equal partnership kind of thing. I also believe if you read Proverbs 31 the woman is such a woman of character that she may not be considered the official head of her household but she really is. She makes the home run smooth and she works hard for it. The man in this scenario trusts her and goes out to work and comes home and does little else.

I am going to work to be come a woman who doesn't eat the bread of idleness. As it stands right now I  might as well sleep all day. I watch way too much television and I sit here on the computer in the name of blogging for many hours each day. I love blogging but I use things like clicking blogs and dropping cards as a reason to sit in front of my computer for hours. I am going to look for more effective less time consuming ways to bring traffic to my blogs. I can still do some of the other things I just need to set a time limit and stick to it. I need to start getting focused and I am going to start with some quiet time in the mornings to learn to focus on what is really important.

I need to set goals in many areas such as my faith, my health and my family relationships.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Work Out Game on My Hit List

If one could murder a video game I would be doing that right now. I don't know what is wrong with it I have used it three days now. The first day it froze on me and I was in a work out mood so I just tried it again later and it worked.

The second time I was halfway through a good work out and I was too physically drained to start over. Today it froze up about 5 minutes in and I am just steaming mad. I don't think it is a defective disc because my hubby has not had those problems when he does it. If it is a defective disc it is also prejudiced. Maybe it requires you to be connected to Xbox live. I don't play the game system enough to have my own live account.

I am researching it but it really is frustrating looks like I am going to have to research another game for working out if I want to do this. For now it looks like a boring workout on the treadmill today. I really didn't expect that and from the mixed reviews on this game my best guess is there are a lot of bad copies of the game floating around or something. I have two missed workouts because I can't get the second workout to play through. I am really frustrated. My opinion at this juncture is don't buy this game unless they fix the problem.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Rather Irritated Today

I started my workout last night and the game froze on me half way through. It was a rough workout for me so I didn't want to start all the way over again. I am not sure I would have made it through again. This is the second time it has happened but the first work out was easier.

Now that is something I could get over with if it was not coupled with the pain in my neck. I woke up with such a sore neck I could barely get out of bed. I am okay now with something for the pain and something for the stomach because of the pain meds. I am pretty sure I should stay away from any upper body work outs today so I am off schedule in my game and may have to start over. I hope to at least get on the treadmill tonight if the pain is not too bad.

This seems to be how it goes when I am really on a good health kick something happens and I can't work out .

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Yesterday I got a massive headache in the evening and I didn't want to do anything. I did work on some Kinect Adventures with my hubby but the jumping made my head hurt worse.

I was scheduled to do another workout on the EA Active game but I didn't feel like it instead I walked an hour on the treadmill. A slow steady pace of 3 miles an hour. When I was finished I just felt kind of drained.

I had to take ibuprofen to get rid of the headache and today my stomach is on fire. I hate taking something for pain because it upsets my stomach. I am going to take some Zantac soon so I can make up my work out if the game will let me. I am not sure why but everything I try to get healthy my body does strange things to protest. I eat less or better foods and get headaches. If I let the headache get really bad over the counter medication won't take care of it. If I take something before it gets bad then my stomach suffers. Oh well guess you can't always have what you want.

I hope to have more in the next week or so on my progress with the game and I will let you know if I recommend it. We hope to get another of the fitness games from Gamefly in the mail soon as well but they never seem to come. I decided not to weight for now I am curious about my weight but I think once I dig the scale out again I will get obsessed with it. I will just use a mirror for now to see changes and the way clothes fit me.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Getting Fit in 2011

Well this cartoon says it all. I really need to get fit and start to think about my over all health. I started my first work out regimine with EA Sports Active 2. I got it in the mail today and I started a work out and it froze up.

My hubby informed me you need to install the game on the Xbox 360 first and it helps keep that from happening. So we did and then we took a walk outside and nearly froze to death. The dog was really happy though. She gets an hour walk almost everyday. I go with my hubby and the dog a lot until it gets cold out.

Anyway my hubby started a work out on his profile before he left for work and didn't have time to finish it so I did. Then I did my first work out over all I got in at least 90 minutes of physical activity today.

I used to love a good work out. I used to feel great after a good work out but now I just feel old. Maybe I can get there again. Maybe it will be different when I get a little of this extra fat off and build some muscle. It just feels so draining now. The thing is when I was working out a lot more I was also able to eat a lot more without gaining weight. Yes I watched what I ate but apparently because of all the strength training I used to do I was able to eat more protein and still look good.

I remember weighing about 115 and eating steak a few times a week. I was also able to have dessert sometimes too without my waistline suffering. I like my new job and I don't have to take a lot of hours so with my time off I am going to try to spend much more time working out. I am going to work up to long work outs though. I know that when I work too hard and can't move the next day it isn't any better than not working enough because that makes me sit for two days to recover. For now a short workouts plus some easy walks outside and/or on the treadmill will work. It looks like the game will increase in intensity too so for now I will work with that. I am sure it will be a bit before that is too easy.

I am thinking about getting on the scale tomorrow if I remember to get a base weight. I know I have put most of what I lost last year back on. I don't want to obsess over the weight as that is what made me give up in the first place. I do think it would be good to get a base weight and weigh maybe once a week. I am not making weight goals though. I weighed 97 pounds in high school and then about 7 years ago I was down to the same size but with a lot more muscle and I weighed 115 pounds so I realize the numbers on the scale don't always mean what I think they do.

Can someone please motivate me?

I lack motivation today, big time! I did stay up late and work out on the treadmill last night. I have done a bunch of easy stuff this morning but over all I just want to sit here and type away. I should get EA Sports Active 2 in the mail tomorrow and I am sure like all new things I will want to try it the minute I get it. If I am lucky I will get it today. It might increase my motivation for a few days if the game is good.

Well guess what I am very lucky, I ordered the game from Amazon yesterday and I just got it. I am looking at it right now. I will let you know how I like it as I use it. I am going to give it a test run here soon. I am really hoping it is better than the Wii fit game I had. I really don't need a tutorial each time I attempt an exercise and I want to be able to have a work out not stop to change each different exercise or yoga pose.

I am thinking also this week I might be doing some serious changing in this blog I am going to at least change the labels and get it flowing a bit smoother. I am going to work on making my posts about one or two things. I am not sure how to do this yet but I will just make a section for my day or daily rants or something when I just want to post randomly, otherwise I think I will focus on a number of things health related and maybe some hobbies.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Catch Up Day

So today I have been trying to do some neglected things. I have a few things done. I did a review for the first of the four books I have competed and posted it on my Dark Novels blog. I have a few more to go but I will work on them in the next few days.

I am off work until Tuesday evening so I have plenty of time to catch up on stuff. I am trying to decide on a good workout plan. I spent an hour on the treadmill last night and went over three miles. Not bad for as out of shape as I have let myself get. It is so loud though that I can't hear the television over it so I have not been using it much. I also purchased EA Sports Active 2 for the Kinect. I am hoping that I can do some short workouts on that when I am not feeling like working out. Sometimes just doing a short activity makes me feel like doing more and sometimes a little something is better than nothing.

I have been working at balancing my meals too. I had fiber one muffins for breakfast and I had yogurt for lunch and some orange juice a little later. I have been taking my supplements but not regularly yet. I take a regular vitamin each day and I have remembered the one Ginko Biloba pill. I am supposed to take the St. Johns Wort 3 times a day and it is difficult for me to remember that.

Well I am starting to feel like a person again so I am hoping it is working but it could just be that I only had to work one night this week and I am getting more sleep. I am really hoping to get caught up on some things around here with the next four days I have off. I need to do some cleaning and laundry and prepare a few blog posts.

Well here is to hoping I can stay on a good health kick for the rest of 2011.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Not Feeling It Today

Well today I am feeling like I was hit by a bus. I did take a good walk with the hubby last night and with the dog. I worked all night and went to bed and slept for like 7 hours so it isn't like I didn't sleep but I didn't take my supplements and I had my coffee late. I have a headache and I have felt groggy most of the day.

When my hubby goes to work I plan to finish the last few chapters of my book and get on the treadmill that sounds like a spaceship a really loud one at that. I am not feeling the elliptical today but I need to do something. If I don't I will get off track. I really feel like sitting here all day and doing nothing.

On that note I think I am also having super cravings for sweets. I have some orange juice and yogurt in the house and even muffins for breakfast but all the super sweet stuff I had over the holiday season is what I am dying for. It is like an addiction. I just can't stop myself it seems if I have the stuff around. I can go through spells where I also crave salty snacks but the sweet stuff is a killer for me.

I will just have to make sure it is not in the house from now on I am not going to let my life be taken over by my sweet cravings.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A bit sore today

I started looking through some pictures of myself today from when I actually didn't mind having my picture taken. This was taken a few years ago. I was a lot thinner but not super skinny. I like this picture and I would love to look like that again. I don't care if I have a perfectly flat tummy.

I am older so I am sure there are a lot of things that have changed in my looks but I think this is my goal to fit into that dress again. I just have to locate it and start working toward that. I know that at the time this picture was taken I thought I put on too much weight but now when I look at it I don't feel that way.

I think the big goal would be to be able to reach that look and stop worrying about if I am over weight. I have not weighed since the well before the holidays and I don't think I will be doing too much stepping on the scale. I am going to get my butt in gear and work hard to get back into that dress. Well I actually bought that for a Halloween costume it had some cool extras that came with it for the hair and some fan to hold.

I am not sure how long it will take me but I am going to do it but it is going to happen. I am so disgusted with myself about the way I look right now I just have to get a move on it. My prayer is that I can get on a healthy eating plan, not a diet where I can never have the things I want but a balanced diet where I can have a desert now and then. Also that I can get my elliptical fixed and stay on a good exercise plan. I went with my hubby for a walk with the dog last night and played Kinect Adventures with him and then did about 45 minutes on my step alternating the step with some strength exercises. I can tell you right now my arms are WEAK.

Tonight I am not sure if I am going to do anything except maybe walk in place to stay awake on my overnight shift. Tomorrow I plan to do the same except I might use the elliptical, since they promised me I wouldn't void my warranty if it broke, instead of the step.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Working On Getting Healthy

Today my husband and I took a walk with the dog and we played a game that was physically active. I still don't feel great today even though I got a lot of sleep.

I am going to use my step tonight while I watch some television after my hubby goes to work. I let my day shift supervisor know that I couldn't work the early mornings anymore except the things I already said I would do. She seemed fine with that and I am hoping that I don't get fired for it. I really don't want to look for a job again especially after I found one I like.

I am also went to the store to get some healthy things to eat. I have a few more things to use up that are easy and not healthy but I will try to balance that with healthy meals. I got some almonds to snack on too because they are much healthier than candy and chips. They also have more protein and I have really been craving meat lately because I have only been eating protein at dinner. I know when I snack on nuts I don't feel as hungry. So I got some yogurt to go with some canned fruit for lunches. One step at a time I will get back to being healthy.

I have been so moody lately from lack of sleep and physical activity and poor nutrition it has been miserable to be around myself. So I went to the store and got a few natural supplements as well. I read a lot about St. Johns Wort and Ginko Biloba and they seem to be things that would help me. I know they don't have the backing of the FDA but I think it is worth a try. I know they won't make me change my bad habits but if they can make me feel clear headed I might be able to muster up some motivation. As an added benifit the Ginko Biloba is also supposed to help improve memory we will see if that works since I have always had trouble with that.

This year I want to stop fooling around and get healthy. I didn't say get thing I just want to feel good again. I no longer wish to feel like a zombie. I wish to feel alive both mentally and physically.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Feel Like A Zombie Today

I really feel like doing nothing today. I told my hubby I would play the Kinect game with him today but I have a few hours before he even gets up. I plan to go with him and Asuka for a walk today too.

Still I really don't want to get off the couch today. Sure I could promote my blogs and write blog posts and feel some sort of accomplishment but I really do need to start getting off my butt. I don't do enough and really I feel like I have lost my passion for doing things. I am really starting to think I suffer from mild seasonal depression.

I may just be lazy but I am looking into natural ways to boost my mood. I have been reading about a few things this morning including St. Johns Wort. I think I might give this a try. I am not on any other medications and that combined with a good vitamin will hopefully help. I have also read the exercise helps and I am sure that it does so I am going to have to figure out some way to keep a good work out as a part of my daily schedule.

The reason I want to work a lot is to save for a new home and the schedule makes it hard for me to get on any type of schedule.I actually am dreaming that I am on the night shift and have fallen asleep while I am working. My hubby makes enough to save a little money and pay all the bills so I may start with not accepting too many hours Saving more for a home will take longer but my marriage won't last if I feel like crap all the time. I will have figure out what the right amount of hours is but I can tell you after this past week of 42.5 hours in 4 days that is not the right amount. On my days off I feel like a zombie. I am thinking that it will be more like 25-30 with one 12.5 hour shift as always but the rest divided into shorter shifts. I used to love long shifts with more days off but I think it is killing me. It could just be the crazy hours too I am not sure yet.

I am having trouble sleeping too. I have dreams that I am supposed to be staying awake when I am actually supposed to be sleeping and I force myself awake. I am pretty sure aside from anything I have already committed myself to that I am going to have to ask that I not be given any hours that are before ten in the morning. My overnight shift is 12.5 hours long and it starts at 6:45 on Tuesday nights and goes until 7:15 am. I may have to sacrifice some of the evening time I usually spend with Ryan because afternoon shifts will run into our time together. I think it will be worth it for both of us though as I won't be so crabby all the time. I need my sleep and I am wondering if the lack of sleep is contributing to my feelings of depression.

  I think that I will spend some time researching that today too. I know lack of sleep causes a lot of problems and it might be the main cause of my lack of zest lately. I just feel like a zombie so much I am starting to wonder if I am one.