Finding my WHY

Finding my WHY?
I have been working in direct sales and watching the biggest looser and I found a common thread in them. I know it is hard to connect the dots but this is really something everyone needs to think about. Why is it that you want something? Do you have a clear why in your work and you fitness goals? If you don't have a clear concept of why you are doing something it makes it that much harder to get it done.

I have been searching for my in business and now in fitness and I have come to the conclusion that I have been frustrated because I have been confusing some concepts. I thought my "why" and my end goal were the same thing. For example I thought the amount of money I wanted to make was going to motivate me to sell more products. I thought fitting into the tiny dress I have been dying to wear again was my fitness why. None of this was truly the case once I started to examine things and listen to my emotions.

My business why's have all changed and they actually only have a little to do with money. My fitness has long been a passion for me and I am working hard to get there because I love myself when I am fit! That is an amazing reason to do this.

I am completing an exercise in a book right now by defining my why here on my blog so I can refer back to it. So here goes.....
I want to sell enough products with my side business to pay for the education and equipment I will need to become a personal trainer and group fitness instructor. That is pretty much the main reason for the side business and I am going to keep working at it but I am not going to alienate friends and family to make it happen or spend half my week busting my but for one party booking and being frustrated.

With that said I used to spend a good 30-50 hours a week participating in exhausting activities and shelling out more than half of what I earned to keep promoting my business and all it did for me was make me feel exhausted and frustrated. Not going to happen any more because for once I know what I ultimately want to do and I am going to focus on that.

Here is where I struggle I have so many why's for wanting to be fit and half of them are very selfish! Well that is what I used to think. I love to help others and I like to make others happy especially my hubby and I have been living a lot of my life for others. Well I am done with that but first I want to say the pressure to please others was something I put on myself. I just assumed that my hubby was thinking this or that. I thought he would think I was stupid for wanting to be in the fitness industry....but once I asked him I was completely wrong. How many years have I wasted like this. I didn't believe I could dance but after sticking to it for months and month I am getting better.

Fitness why's may sometimes feel silly and selfish but here we go

I want to look good in that dress, in a bikini (even if I never wear one) and yes I want to look good naked even if the only people who ever see me that way are my hubby and whatever doctor I may have to see.

I want to look in the mirror and feel like every day I have accomplished something by keeping my body in great shape.

I want to get strong so I can do every Pole Dance move known and then some

I want to continue to get fit so I can teach others how to get fit and help them on a path to a new life

I want to stay fit so I have confidence.. For this one I used to think being thin was the reason I felt confident  and yes that helps a lot but the real source of this confidence is that I put in the work and achieved a goal.

I want to feel good about myself all the time so I want to keep pushing to the next level and the next and never give up.

I want to feel good physically not just look good but feel good. I want to have the energy to make it through each day. I want to be healthy yes but that is too broad I mean it when I say I want to feel good.

Here is one that I am embarrassed to say but it is true and I think about it from time to time. I want my hubby to notice other people looking at him like he is a lucky man when we go out together. I want to be the girl that draws a little extra attention.

So those are a few of my fitness why's

Now I have to set some goals the first of which I have already started. Getting fit is a lofty goal so I have to break it down into smaller pieces. So here goes.....

Goal 1
I want to see my abs by June. I know I have them I can feel the muscle but I still have enough fat around the midsection that I can not see them. So the fat must go!

How am I going to do that? 
I am going to start with going back to calorie counting and see what I am eating and what I need to cut. I don't like to do this because I tend to get obsessive and spend a lot of time on it or refuse to go out with my hubby and relax but it needs to be done for at least a few weeks just to calculate the amount of calories I am eating and get on top of any new foods that I don't really know the calorie amount.

I am going to log my exercise and work to get an average of at least 2 hours a day in activity. Don't worry yourselves I am not talking about strenuous exercise for 2 hours every day. I am just talking about a good strenuous work out about 5-6 days a week for 45-90 minutes and some more leisure or fun but consistent activities such as walking the dog or going out dancing.

Next I am going to be more active in every day activities like when I am reading I can stand up, when I play a game on the tablet to pass a little time before I need to be somewhere I can pace. I can do my least favorite thing in the world and clean my house more often. I can practice dance moves while cleaning and while getting ready. I can do those figure 8's (hips move in the shape of an 8) while I am blow drying my hair.  I think you get the picture.

My worst enemy is the television these days I love my TV so one of my first financial goals is to save up for that treadmill I really want so I can watch television while working out even if it is just a light walk. I can spend several hours each day watching television because I have so many things I enjoy watching and it just sucks my time away. I watch it all on Hulu so it is not like I have to watch at a particular time but I always watch in the am while I wake up. When I get the treadmill I will get up and set the treadmill up and do my usual feed all the animals and myself and get on the treadmill for a light morning walk while I watch last nights episode of Nashville. If I feel up to I could make it a jog or a run as I wake up. My bet is this will make my wake up time shorter most days too. I just need to get myself on a budget and work towards buying this treadmill.

Here is the really important one I will chart my progress and evaluate my diet and exercise program every two weeks. If I am not getting the results I need to get where I want to be I will tweak it a little but I will be able to wear that dress and look great in it by June! I can't measure in pounds right now. While some more pounds may come off I am not going to frustrate myself I am down to 127 but I know to get to the size I want I may not loos too many more pounds overall because I will be gaining muscle as I loose the fat. I would be happy when it is all said and done to see 120 on the scale but I will be happy with any weight that has me looking lean and strong. I want people to look at me and know that I work out I don't just want to be skinny.

Down 6.5 pounds and 12 inches!!!

Results!
I have to admit I was very discouraged this week because the scale just wouldn't budge. I was at 144.5 for five days. Then this morning it went down. I added some serous weight lifting this week and somehow I hoped it would make the numbers on the scale go down. I knew from a logical standpoint that I should be taking measurements instead but it is a lot harder than just getting out of bed and stepping on the scale.

So this morning I took my third set of measurements, biceps, hips, bust, waist, calves and thighs and I am down 6.5 more inches for a total of 12 since I started this program on June 22. I really am going to have to focus on the inches more now that I have a good strength training regimen going.

Gym
On Monday of this week I joined a gym that is less than 5 minutes from my house. The gym requires no contracts and it was only 100 dollars down and 10 dollars a month. Yea for me I now have somewhere to lift weights. I found that I also like the cardio bike, something I used to hate. It loosens up the hip I broke and helps with more fluid motions in the leg.

I have been sore for days but it is the good kind of sore and I know if I keep it up I can look like Jillian Michaels in no time. Yes that is my goal these days to have a body like hers and while I have a weight guideline it is not set in stone because I want to have some serious muscle tone.

My membership included 2 personal training sessions and the first one was just paper work and goal setting. I don't have the cash for more sessions but he did show me some great exercises and my sister in law also helped me learn to use the machines and showed me some great core exercises. I am all set to succeed for now as long as I keep it up.

Setbacks
Everyone has setbacks and mine seem to have to do with scheduling. I have not really messed my eating up because I have kept all the really bad food out of the house. I have however had a few days where poor planning has had me to the point of my stomach grumbling and me reaching for anything and everything to eat. If I had junk food in the house I would be in big trouble on those days.

I think the worst thing is finding time for exercise 6 days a week. I want to stay on a 6 day plan for the rest of my life but there is always something to do or some family function or a wedding or ....well you get my point, and that leads me to my next section about working in the fitness industry.

My New Job Is Getting Fit
I started my first (free) course to become a personal trainer. I have been reading the book when I have the time but some of it is overwhelming. I did graduate from college with a great GPA but I didn't learn a whole lot of science and the book is loaded with it. So I borrowed some textbooks from my sister to help me get a better grasp of some of the terms.

It won't be a breeze but it is not super difficult either and it gives me some time to prove to myself and my hubby  and potential clients that I can get in great shape. Then when I am close to my own goals I can start to take the ISSA course that seems to be accepted everywhere.

I want to stay in great shape and I want to help other people stay in shape and what better way to achieve this goal than to have a career in fitness.

Diet
Just an added note I am on a diet of sorts. I am using (and selling) Herbalife products. I love them because they give me energy and they are great for a quick meal when I am on the go. I can take a protein bar to the gym and eat it before a great work out and come home and have a shake. I am on a 2 shake a day program but I have been known to have another on for a snack especially now that I am lifting weights and need a protein boost without having to cook something. I eat a lot of veggies, salads and nuts for snacks and I eat a good meal but I am NOT counting calories. I get way too obsessive when I do that. I am also not cutting out red meat or potatoes but I am staying away from bread for right now. I eat ground buffalo and lean steaks but not everyday and I sometimes have potatoes cut up and grilled. I am staying away from the bread because I think I am addicted to it when I eat a little I just want more and more.

We went to the Outback the other day and I had a small steak with veggies and a sweet potato and one little piece of bread and once I took a bite it took everything in me to leave the rest there I don't even have that much of an issue with sweet things. I always thought my vice was sweets but come to find out it is bread. Not sure what that is all about but maybe I will learn in my personal training courses.

Good luck with your weight loss programs and thanks to all of you who have supported me over the years. This time I am going to get it done and by the end of October you will get the before and after pics.

My Crazy Life

This is just going to be a bit of rambling because I have had an almost unbearable week. I have had some victories but it is hard to focus on them with everything that has happened to me. The first big thing has something to do with the Herbalife business that I am starting. I want to say that it is not Herbalife that I have a problem with it is the people/company I came in with. Then there is the duplex that was broken into and all the copper pipes stolen plus a broken window.

Now in the midst of this stuff I started my new diet plan. I am on the Herbalife quick start plan and I love it. The shakes are amazing and I eat 4-5 times a day just replace two meals with shakes. I am still working that out because I need to get some protein in with my snacks. I have been having a lot of salads and sometimes I save the last snack for the evening and have home made ice cream but I have been eating just a very small portion of it. I need to figure out the calories in each batch but I am still better off than much of the grocery store ice cream. It has a lot less sugar in it and none of the extra stuff you can't pronounce.

I started at 150 on Sunday and have worked out everyday since (5 days) and I am now at 148 so that is not too shabby for less than a week. I have to work out the diet plan a bit but the work outs I am feeling good about. I have been pushing myself and on the days I feel like I can't do it I just keep doing it even if it isn't as fast as yesterday.

I started off really motivated but right today I am feeling like giving up because I am so irritated with life. I am not going to give up! I just can't!

 So you want to know what else happened well I went to incomeathome.com and signed up for an online business. They were very secretive about their product and their methods. They are a group of people selling Herbalife products in a different way and it is a very high pressure and deceptive way. I am not going to go into details because I already feel like a huge idiot for letting them dupe me out of money and tons of time before I could even start selling the product. If I had not stood my ground it could have been worse. I have been fighting to get some of my money back and it is not working. I have almost 600 dollars into it and I have one quick start package which would have cost me 110 dollars had I signed up locally. That doesn't count the phone minutes and the 20-30 hours of my time on phone calls and training that did not teach me much about the products.

So I canceled everything I could and filed the BBB reports that I could and I called Herbalife and asked if I could just be a regular distributor. I found a nutrition club with the help of some great friends and I was very impressed with the way they do business. It was not high pressure and they were very transparent about the costs. I was able to taste some very good shake recipes and I am excited to sell the products. I just can't get the bad taste out of my mouth with the experience I have been having. I have been fighting for hours each day with the many different companies that I have signed up for because the training said I HAD to have this and that and NONE of it is required to sell the product.

The good this week is that the products I got from Herbalife are working very well for me I am so excited. I have a lot more physical energy already. I didn't get my product until Tuesday but I had some samples that I used to try to get through the earlier days. I love the shakes they are delicious and I was really scared they would not be. I would like to loose two pounds a week but I have to overcome my temptation to eat when I get stressed out or to just sit and pout about the money I couldn't afford to loose.

I just need to find the fighter in me and push through all of this and just get it done.

Sustainable Living Progress in Toledo Ohio

Weather in Toledo Ohio


Well I live in Toledo Ohio and I am really starting to wish I lived in Florida or somewhere else that rarely gets snow. We have had a few beautiful days even one day that was near eighty degrees but right back into the just above freezing temps. I think that I have some seasonal depression because I am actually very happy with my life right now and the direction it is taking but I have so much trouble getting motivated. This is causing me to think we may need to talk about moving further south when we are ready to move.

My Progress On Sustainable Living

As many of you know one of my goals in life is to learn to make more of my own food. I have not been able to plant anything this year because of the weather. I do have a tray of seeds that I started yesterday but other than that I am waiting a bit because my kitchen is not big enough to cook in and have plants in there all day as well. I need to be able to put them on the porch during the day then bring them in at night.

I am learning to cook things from scratch even though I have to rely on the grocery store for my ingredients at this time. I hope to have less reliance on the grocery story as my plants grow and my chicks grow up. I also hope to find a few places to volunteer that will teach me how to live as much as possible off the land I am on now. I think I have a few things starting to line up but I don't want to jinx that by posting about it just yet.

I purchased six hens for laying eggs, fertilizing my yard and taking care of my mosquito problem. Okay you got me it was after I bought the chickens that I realized they would be for more than eggs. From what I hear they are going to help me make a naturally inviting backyard. I am loving caring for them right now and I am really hoping I can eventually raise my own meat birds too.

Raising Food VS Buying Food

I have been reading a lot about chickens and how they are treated in the agriculture business. In big poultry houses they are housed in tiny cages and often debeaked and they are either fattened up for consumption or they are dropping eggs to meet our growing demand for convenience. I don't this like it at all! I know from my research that most animals we consume in high quantities are treated in a similar fashion. Now that I know I wish to gradually reduce my dependence on these animals from traditional grocery stores and meat markets.

Also the fruit and veggies we eat are full of toxins from unnatural fertilizer to many different pesticides. I would love to be a great organic farmer but if what I am reading is correct you are safer if you grow your own veggies and just apply pesticide as needed. As far as I can tell large agricultural businesses spray more than one pesticide and they spray on a schedule. They are in the prevention of pests business because they don't have the time or the resources to inspect crops daily. 

Call to Action
It all has me wondering if what I eat today is poisoning my body. I don't want to get all crazy and tell people they have to change their lives all at once. If you do a little research and decide you feel the way I do spend a few moments thinking about what you can do today to change things. I am not changing things all at once but I am taking baby steps toward my goals.

If you live in the Toledo Ohio area and you would like to start a group to discuss these topics I can set it up.  Just email me(sundcarrie@gmail.com )or comment on my blog and I will start planning a monthly meetup or an online message board. Whatever works best for everyone.

My First Article

I submitted my first key word article today. It took me a long time to complete it and will hardly be worth the pay verses the time spent on it. I don't mean that in a bad way because I need the practice and I need to learn to focus. It may not even be accepted for payment on the first run.

I learned a valuable lesson about choosing key word articles, I will never again pick one that is awkward to use in a sentence. I also learned that I have trouble staying focused on one project at a time. I end up wasting time researching interesting things that I ran across while researching my topic. I am going to have to learn if it won't fit in the article don't bother with it or make a note to look into it later.

Once I wrote the article I started on another goal. I have not been working out or eating right lately and I really want to get back on track. I was doing really well and a few minor things made me feel like I was fighting a loosing battle and I just gave into the cravings. I went to the park down the street today with my dog and started my new routine. I am going to start jogging and since I have never been more than a walk fast kind of gal this is a real challenge.

Asuka loved it every time I broke into a jogging pace and she was excellent. She didn't pull like she does when we walk and she didn't stop to sniff everything. She is not a puller like the dogs you see running there owners down the street but she could use some work or maybe just some speed.

I learned that I am really out of shape and that it will take time to build up to speed. I had to walk most of the 2.5 miles. My heart rate was through the roof after just a little jogging. I am going to be a better dog owner and in better shape by sticking to this goal. I don't know yet if I can handle two days in a row or just every other day. We will just walk if I can't jog each day.

I have also been going on evening walks with my husband and the dog so if all of this continues I will be in better shape in no time as long as I don't eat whole pies or bags of chips. I honestly could eat a whole pie I have never done it but lately my sweet cravings have been really bad and I am tempted to grab the sugar bowl and chow down some days.

Over all life is looking good I just need to outline a plan for these changes in my life. Once they are in writing they are easier to follow and tweak as needed. That is one of the mistakes I made in my good health plan this last time. I quit writing about it and put it out of my mind. Not this time I am going to work on becoming a better me. I am working to be the person I want to be and I am going to make it happen.

Gained a half a pound

I needed a cute picture up here to brighten my day. So here is a cute puppy that looks really bored or maybe giving someone those cute puppy eyes that say PLEASE can I have what I want.

So I did my weigh in this morning and I was a half a pound up. I had an idea the was coming. I ate like crap Saturday and some of Sunday. I didn't go over my weekly points but I didn't do any real working out either.

So today I still have like 6 daily points left and I have 6 activity points. I walked the dog myself for an hour today and then with my hubby we went out again for almost anther hour. Plus I played a few minutes of Your Shape we got in from Gamefly. I wanted to try it before we buy it and already it works much better than the other game.

 I plan to play that tomorrow before or after my shift tomorrow. It depends on how I feel when I get up and what the weather is like. If I am really tired when I get up then I will wait until after my shift. I only work from 11-2 so I can fit it in. If the weather is  pretty good again I need to take the dog for another walk without the hubby. She has decided since I have not walked her all winter she is the boss. She is not behaving for me at all when we are out so It is back to a training collar of some sort so she can learn to listen to me again. I can't be dragged around by a German Shepherd it makes for a difficult walk.

This week I am prepared for the days at the end of the week when my fresh veggies and fruit might go bad. I got plenty of fresh for most of the week but if they don't last I also got a bunch of frozen. I went to Sams and saw they had giant bags of the few veggies I like and of fruit like strawberries, blueberries and a mix with papaya, mangoes and pineapple with no sugar added. If they are not super sweet I can add a tiny bit of sugar but I shouldn't need to. I can also make my favorite syrup and pancakes where I just put my choice of fruit in my food processor and then pour it into a pan with 1tablespoon of sugar and heat and serve. I have a whole wheat pancake mix that needs used.

So this week is off to a great start. I work a lot of short shifts and even twice in one day but I think I can get a work out in a few days this week and if it stays above freezing I can take a lot of walks with my hubby and Asuka the German Shepherd who wants to pull my arm off so she can go swim in all the giant puddles. I should have some weight loss this week if I keep on task with my eating and working out.

The has been one thing that has really been bothering me and I think I may have solved the problem last night. I can't seem to fall asleep no matter what time I go to bed I have not been able to fall asleep for at least an hour. I took a night time cold medicine pill to see if it would help. It did I was out in about 20 minutes. So next time I go to the store I will get something for sleep. I don't want to keep taking cold pills but I need the sleep. So I am going to try to go to bed around the same time every-night and get up around the same time everyday. Hopefully once I develop a pattern I won't need to take anything. If I still can't fall asleep right away I will go to my doctor and make sure it is safe to take the over the counter stuff for long periods.

Applebees and Weight Watchers

Yesterday I am searching around  the Weight Watchers website and I see someone talking about Applebees. They said they have a complete list of nutritional information for all there food. So I go there and find a few meals with very low points value but what I really wanted was a steak. I found an entire steak meal for 10 points and one for 13 points. I decided it was time to break out the gift card we received for Christmas and head out to dinner.

The 13 point meal also had veggies, potatoes and a few shrimp. It was amazing and I didn't go over my daily points. Here is what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast
1 banana
1 cup 2% milk (in my coffee because I need calcium but don't love milk)

Lunch
2 oz. ham
2 pieces of Pepridge Farm very thing whole wheat bread
1/4 oz of Cheese
16  Ranch multigrain chips

Snacks
Yo Crunch parfait
Weight Watchers oatmeal raisin cookie

Dinner
7 oz steak with garlic sauce and shrimp
Steamed Potatoes
Steamed mixed veggies

At the end of the day I used 29 points. I went to the grocery store yesterday and got fat free milk and a ton of veggies and fruit and some Weight Watchers 1 point cheese slices. Lunch meat seems to be the way to go for lunch so I picked another lean meat so my points would remain low.

I want to stay in my daily points range as often as possible and stay away from using my weekly points. I have been working it so that I eat something like a yogurt for breakfast and then if I am still hungry I have some fruit. So if I eat my daily points and I am still hungry I know it is better for me to use my weekly points than to feel like giving up on my diet. If I am not hungry there really is no need to eat something else. Knowing that I have days when I am not really hungry and days when I am ravenous and want to devour all the contents of the refrigerator I realize it is better just to play it by ear.

I am loving this program though as long as I plan well I can have just about anything I want. I only cook dinner for my hubby because we live on different shifts. For him the meal I cook is lunch. I can plan meals for him if he wants something really bad and eat a Smart Ones pizza or something. I can also plan higher point dinners if I plan the rest of my day around low points. Tonight we are having omelets I will be having mine with 1 egg and 2 egg whites, mushrooms, onions, WW cheese, with a tsp of olive oil to cook it in. My hubby chose his own filling and he will use regular cheese and full eggs.

So things are looking good as long as I can stay organized and keep my meals planned. I am fed up with how overweight I am. Healthy weight range for me is 106-132 and I am in a hurry to get to the 132 mark as I know I will feel much better then. That is about 20 pounds away so I am hoping for a good 2 pounds a week of weight loss. That would be 10 weeks from now putting me at my first goal (Healthy Weight) by the end of April. My ultimate goal is to stay between 115-120 all the time this way I never go over my goal weight and if I do I know I have to get back on track.

Encouraging News From the Scale Today

I know I said I was not going to weigh in everyday but I tend to like to the first few weeks of any diet plan. So I started Monday at about 155 maybe a half pound lighter and today I weight 151.5.  Even if I didn't loose a full 3.5 pounds because of daily fluctuations I did loose some weight. That means the workouts and the diet are working. My official Weight Watchers weigh in is Monday. I have like 30 of my weekly points left and a bunch of activity points.

The new WW plan does seem to frown on a lot of sugary carbs. I think the plan is better than what I was on before as it helps make healthier choices without sacrificing many of the foods I love. I was extremely aggravated at first that my favorite yogurt was 6 points. I found one for 4 points and just ate fruit with it since that is 0 points.  I have a yogurt to try today with a low amount of suclarose in it that is only two points. I don't know if I can eat because I get migraines when I have any of those sweeteners. I figure since it is one of the last ingredients I might be okay. Splenda or suclarose are the only sweeteners other than sugar that I seem to be able to tolerate in low amounts.

For some reason today I am not super hungry. I had a banana for breakfast with a cup of milk that I put in my coffee. I don't love milk but I need the calcium so I put it in coffee. I plan to have the 2 pt yogurt for a snack soon and that will add up to only 5 points for today.

Lunch will be a sandwich on very thin whole wheat bread with 2 oz of ham and a tiny bit of cheese served with 16 ranch flavored multi-grain Pringles. That meal is 8 points. I have fruit to snack on and I hope to go somewhere for dinner tonight. I am thinking Applebees as they have WW meals....well at least they did last time I went there.

The scale was not my enemy today.

I was down another half a pound making it 153.5 today. I don't want to make a habit of getting on the scale everyday but some days I just feel like I could be pleasantly surprised.

I am meeting a friend for lunch today so I have not had a lot of points because I am not sure what I can eat when I get there. I did however pop in the step video Kim Kardashian: Fit In Your Jeans by Friday: Butt Blasting Cardio Step and it made me realize how horribly out of shape I am. It looks easy and I am pretty sure to anyone who works out on a regular basis that it is. I did a little over half the video and I was dripping buckets of sweat and felt like I might pass out.

So I got about 30 minutes in and I am hoping to get a walk with the dog and hubby in this evening since the weather is starting to cooperate. I still can not believe that I am this out of shape maybe I will have to do the video again with out a step and just pretend it is there until I get all the moves down and can do them without passing out.

So after lunch with one friend I get to hang out with another friend and then I have to make it home in time to walk with my hubby. I have such a great day planned for today. Hope you all have a great days as well.

Off to bed

Well I am off to bed here in a minute hopefully going to bed by 11 I will be asleep before midnight and able to get up by 8. I need to get up early because I have lunch with one friend and then I am going to another friends house to hang out for a bit.

I had a great work out today and I really want to get one in before I go tomorrow. I did an hour on the elliptical and I really kept my heart rate up most of the time. Sadly I just barely made it through the hour without passing out and I only got 3.1 miles in. I have not been pushing myself hard enough. I need to work harder during my workouts.

My food plan was not derailed today. We had veggies to munch on at the meeting I had today and I have even been able to use up some of the not so good food in the house by planning it with my points. I want to get to the store either tomorrow or Saturday because I need much more fruit and veggies. I want them to snack on because most don't cost points. I know this means I will probably have to go to the store several times a week until late spring but I will just have to suck it up and do it.

I hope the scale gives me better news next time I weigh in but that remains to be seen.

Weight Watchers Online

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I get a lot of cards in the mail for joining Weight Watchers again for free. I don't like going to meetings as I am not one to make friends with strangers just because we share a weight loss goal. It isn't that I don't like to talk with people that share my goals it is that when you meet face to face with people like that they start to share other things. I don't share deep dark secrets here so why would I do it in a meeting.

Now if some of my friends wanted to go I might go with them because we could support each other. We could privatively discuss some of the major emotional issues that keep us from staying motivated. I share here many of the issues and setbacks that i have but  I am not an open book. I don't like to share issues that might bite me in the ass later.

So I decided to join online to kick-start my diet plan. I am not having any success staying on my low carb diet at all. So I know I had some success the last time I was on Weight Watchers and decided to give it a try again. They make it pretty easy to count the points with there online system so now I just have to do it everyday.

I am still not sure how to work my overnight shift. I can't go all night without eating but should I start counting any calories I eat after midnight as the next day? I usually am up on Tuesday-Wednesday about 20 hours and I have a hard time dividing my food on that day. Mainly because I am up again on Wednesday around 3pm to 2 or 3am. Sometimes I try just get a few hours sleep and then get up so I will be tired all day but be able to sleep around midnight or so. I really wish I could get used to this schedule. I sleep 5 or 6 hours one night and 10 the next to try to make up for it.

Anyway I am getting back on track with my eating. With this plan I can eat just about anything I want as long as I keep a balance. I still need to plan my food and maybe I will get better at it if I just keep plugging away at the different plans until I find something that works for me. I do like the results I get from not eating too many carbs so I will start to learn to plan meals that are low in carbs but I won't make myself crazy if I have a lazy night and end up having turkey dogs on whole wheat buns with some potatoes for a side. I just have to figure out how to balance it so I am not overeating any one food group.

No More Sweet Stuff in This House

Okay I was really bad last night I just couldn't stay away from the sweet cinnamon bread I made. No more sweet stuff in this house. I don't have a huge problem staying away from the salty stuff but the sweets are my downfall.

If it is not in the house I can't eat it. So we just won't be buying anymore sweet stuff. I have reasonably healthy sweet stuff like yogurt and oatmeal and that will have to do. I don't want to gain these pounds back.

I did stand for a good 3 hours yesterday while doing chores and computer stuff. I also did about 45 minutes of a good cardio workout on the Xbox. So that makes my activity level much higher. Right now I am standing at the kitchen counter typing. I am trying to get my body used to being more active and standing instead of sitting is just the first step.

I hate to admit it but most days I spend most of my waking hours sitting. I get up and watch something on netflix or get on the computer in my chair. Even if I work I sit at my desk and that has got to change. I can make simple changes and just stand while I work and while I do all the computer stuff I do.

So today is a new day and I am working again on being more active and eating healthy.
For breakfast I had:
Hazelnut Latte oatmeal
A lot of coffee
Milk with my coffee about half a cup

I have my meals loosely planned for the rest of today but I should be able to stay at 1200 calories today with no problem.

Down 4 Pounds Now!

Yeah I weighed again this morning. I don't want to get addicted to weighing but I am seeing results like crazy. I don't even know why for sure. I am trying to stay more active during the day so even if I don't get a work out I am burning more calories. Like right now I am standing up at my kitchen counter typing this post.

I am trying to stand more and move more even if that means just walking around the house more. I can't wait until the weather gets better because in the few days I have tried to stay busier I have also wanted to go for a nice walk with the dog. I don't want to go now because of the massive amount of snow we had dumped on us Tuesday and Wednesday. I also don't like to go if there is still a lot of snow or ice on the ground. I don't like the cold but what I hate is that I always seem to fall on the ice. The fall results in pain and a few days of rest so it really isn't worth it.

I sort of cheated yesterday on my diet but since I am counting calories now I didn't do that bad. I had around 1500 calories yesterday only because I made a quick bread and had 3 pieces at over 200 each. I didn't eat them all at once but I just couldn't stay away.

I did have a piece for breakfast today but I have not touched it since. I am sure I will be able to keep my calories pretty low today even with the bread I just have to plan low calorie meals the rest of the day. I also plan to do a good 1/2 an hour or more of the boxing on my Xbox game tonight.

Wasted Day

So I went to bed at 7:30am after my long overnight shift. The offices were closed today because of the snow storm so I worked 4-7. That gave me plenty of time for adequate sleep. Except that my hubby (not his fault) got a crazy case of the hiccups and woke me up. After going back and forth upstairs and downstairs he finally took a blanked downstairs and tried to sleep.

That was not the worst of it all the kids had school off too. I slept okay with snow shoveling and snowblowers it is kind of a constant noise. The kids that kept ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door were making me seriously angry. I know they just wanted to earn a few bucks but they would not stop. I didn't want to get up and put clothes on answer the door. My hubby was not dressed to answer the door either and the dog barked at them until they went away.

So I am living on like three good hours of sleep. I am trying to keep my calories between 1200-1400 a day and I don't think that will be difficult today because I will not really be awake that much. I usually don't weight daily but when I got up this morning afternoon I was hoping for some sort of good news. I lost another half a pound so I say that was great news. I am down 3.5 pounds now. That is pretty exciting.

I stood for five hours of my shift and I worked to stay busy before my shift last night. I know it isn't exercise but it is better than sitting and relaxing all the time. I am kind of lazy today but I plan to be up and about more tomorrow. I am on call tomorrow but only until 7pm so I should be able to get a good evening work out in.

I was scared...

When I stepped on the scale this morning after my week or so of not doing much in the way of working out and dieting. I was pleasantly surprised I lost another pound.

I am not sure how that happened but I will take what I can get. I did count calories yesterday but I am sure that didn't do the trick. I have still been eating a lot smaller portion sizes even when I ate bad for me stuff. I used to eat at least four pieces of pizza and some cheese bread now I am luck if I can eat three slices and no bread. Even that depends on the pizza if it is thin crust I eat three if it is regular I eat two.

I am back to calorie counting and trying to keep under 1600 calories a day on most days. I am still going to have days that I cheat but not entire weeks. I know the low carb diet works faster but I can't seem to stay on it. I have my Weight Watchers food tracking book that I am using to journal what food I have eaten and the calories. I have no intention of counting the points.

I work tonight for 12.5 hours and I am going to try to spend a few of those hours standing and maybe marching in front of my desk. It won't be good cardio but it will be more activity than I have had this past week. I realized how out of shape I am a while ago but I got a blinding slap in the face yesterday when I felt like I was going to die after cleaning the bathroom. Granted I had put it off for quite some time and it needed a lot of scrubbing but I shouldn't have had a huge back ache just from cleaning the tub.

So my goal is to get more active daily even if that means less computer time or even standing while on the computer instead of reclining in my comfy chair. If I make some simple changes and keep eating less and healthier I might just loose about a pound a week. I have at least 30 pounds to loose so I can hopefully loose it in less than a year. As soon as spring hits I am naturally more active and I love fresh fruits when the weather breaks.

My Day

Well today I got up at noon and answered phones for work for two hours starting at 1:30. Then I had to go meet the tenants that moved out a few weeks ago to walk through the place with them. Then we went to a market and a grocery store.

I got a lot of veggies for the week but I didn't like what I did with them and I cooked a few portions. I am not sure if some of the veggies tasted bad or if they didn't taste good with soy sauce. I am going to try another sauce next time.

I did buy myself one of those tiny boxes of conversation hearts because I love them. My hubby always seems irritated at the price of a box over that of a bag. I just wanted a little and if you can't stop yourself from eating the whole bag it is well worth the extra money to get the box. I did find a box for 25 cents so it wasn't that bad but you can get 10 times that much in a bag for less than two buck. I have been pretty good about not buying candy so the hubby didn't seem to care today.

Tonight I plan to do an hour of cardio boxing on the Xbox. My arms are really sore from yesterday but it kept my heart rate up and it was fun. I turned the trainers voice down and used my own music. I am not really sure where this day went but since I stay up until about 3-4 in the morning it is not that far gone. I have about six hours to go.

Todays Work Out
1 hour of cardio boxing

Todays meals
Coffee with milk (most of a pot and no idea how much milk)
1 piece of whole grain bread with peanut butter

2 small pieces of chicken maybe 2.5 ounces
Broccoli

I have had about a handful of almonds between meals as well.

2 small pieces of chicken maybe 2.5 ounces
Zuchini, onion, carrot and mushrooms stir fried in a small amount of butter soy sauce and mirin. (I made three portions of this so I will call it stir-fry veggies)

I plan to have the the chicken and stir-fry veggies for my 4th meal and because I have been snacking on almonds I will just have an apple for my fifth meal.

Pizza Made My Week.

So last night I broke down and got pizza and by the end of today I will have eaten a whole medium. I think I am going to let myself do that once in awhile. I still feel good and I am actually in the mood to get more done today because I am not just thinking about food.

We go to the store tomorrow so I can get more variety in my healthy meals. I can't take too many more days of chicken and broccoli. I don't like a lot of veggies but I like fresh mushrooms, zucchini and bean sprouts. I like salads too but I doubt I will find many good looking salad ingredients this time of the year.

I tried some clothes on and I am just a few pounds off from fitting nicely into some of my skirts that I made this summer. I was really excited to see that my stomach is loosing weight this time. I looked nice in quite a few outfits I tried on. Not great but much better.

It helps me stay motivated to do this once in a while. I didn't do the greatest cardio workout yesterday it was only a half an hour of step and boxing moves I made up but I did do a killer arm workout. More than the one that left me sore for days last time. Today I am just mildly sore and hope to do a killer lower body workout tonight and maybe a similar cardio workout but try to go longer and keep the heart rate up higher.

I need to start doing more core exercises but I don't know that many. I just know crunches and other floor exercises that kill my back. There has to be something I can do that won't make me need a pain killer for the back pain. It is not the lying on the floor it is the upward sit up or crunch motion. So I am open to any other type of ab exercises you all know about.

Well off to get some more stuff done around here. I think it would be a good thing to put away the loads of laundry that are in baskets as well as the stuff I tried on and didn't put away.

Food is my Enemy

Right now I think I could eat my own weight in junk food. I am not really that hungry I just want it. The picture I posted is of candy but my cravings are more varied than that.

What I really want is a whole pizza with bacon and pineapple on it and a burger with onion rings. I am really glad that I have been eating smaller meals because if my cravings get the best of me at least I fill up faster.

Lucky for me I don't have any of these items in my house and I don't plan to go anywhere today. My hubby might want to go out for dinner but I doubt that. I really don't know why I have such a love/hate relationship with food. I really love the way junk food tastes but I hate what it makes me look and fell like. I had a not so great food day yesterday but the worst thing I had was a cup of hot chocolate. I have done very well today but I can't get my mind off of food.

I really do wish I was one of those women who could eat what she wanted to and keep her figure. I am not and it seems that everything I eat turns to fat. I can eat a 1000 calorie diet for weeks and barely loose weight.   That is why I am not counting calories or getting on the scale everyday. I feel like one burger ends up attached to my ass and a piece of pizza right to my gut. There is no winning for me unless I eat a diet of chicken and vegetables. Can I just say YUCK. I can stand it for quite some times and I can get creative in the spring and summer with fresh veggies that really are good but in the winter I am mostly stuck with frozen stuff. I have fruit too but again the winter selection of fresh fruit is not awesome.

Oh well I am stuck with this body and the only way to change it is to eat light and work out. I REALLY can't wait until spring when I can spend more time outdoors as exercise and can find better fresh fruit and veggies.

Working, Exercising and Cooking Healthy

So today I worked from 9am-5pm and still managed to get my meals in. I can't seem to manage no bread so I have decided to have a piece of peanut-butter toast once a day when I just can't stay away from the bread. It is high fiber whole grain bread so it is not that bad.

Most of my meals are made and I just heat them and eat while I am working. I am eating about 5 small meals a day. I am was having trouble with some hunger today so I had a cup of milk.

I have chicken in the oven with enough left overs for the next day plus two extra parts of chicken from last night. Hopefully I can remember to keep this up. I am also going to have to grab some shrimp for something I can cook quickly with some veggies and stir-fry sauce.

I spent an hour on my elliptical last night and plan to do that again tonight. I have to stay up late because I have to work tomorrow from 6:45pm -Wednesday 7:15am. So what better way than to make myself work out.

I am still worried about the eating thing tomorrow because even if I stay up later tonight I will be up for 18+ hours tomorrow so I will have to split the food into six meals and I am sure I will want at least one extra meal. I really need to get healthy and I am very motivated to do so. I guess I just have to take it one step at a time.

Diet and Exercise and Lunch with Mom

So I was gone most of today with my mom. I am going to get on my elliptical in about an hour and then maybe a bubble bath before bed. I have to work 9-5 tomorrow. Those are day shift hours then night shift the next day.

I did pretty well today with my eating. I have been eating hard boiled egg whites for breakfast. And mostly baked chicken and veggies or fruit for my other meals. Even for lunch I had meat and vegetables. I had one bite of brown rice and decided more veggies was better.

I am going to have a piece of whole grain bread with some peanut butter and a cup of milk before I work out. Then tomorrow I have all of my protein portions ready to go. I am eating 5 small meals. I have fruit or veggies ready to go with my protein.

My mom and I talked a lot about how we used to eat and work out and what worked for us then. We went to a personal trainer at the same time and we looked over the meal plans she saved. I never could follow the strict diet but I modified it to fit my life. I think one of the big things is the 5 small meals instead of three big ones with crappy snack foods in the middle. I also need to do more strength training but I have been on top of that the last week and a half or so.

On that note I also want to get more cardio in but as anyone who reads this blog knows the epileptic makes a strange noise. When I called about it they said that using it wouldn't void my warranty but I am worried. Well that was before Christmas and I still can't get the repair man to call me back. I have called and left several messages and he just has not called back. I am going to have to call Sole again and get them to call Fitness Tech and have them call me a new repair man. I even called the middleman and left a message and they didn't call me back. Really frustrated about that so I am just going to get on the elliptical tonight and not worry about it. It is not really a loud noise.

I need an hour on the elliptical today and I am going to work on the strength program so I don't need to do any extra strength training today. Hopefully tomorrow I will get some upper body training in and a hills program on the elliptical