Goint ToWork Today

I spent an hour on the Treadmill today early this morning. Then I read my email devotions and spent some time in prayer and typing in my journal. I feel pretty good this morning and I still have a little time before I have to get into work clothes and leave.

I am down another half pound today to make my total weight loss thus far 10.5 pounds from 165 to 154.5. I am determined to get back to 120 at this point. I have spent a few days cleaning a closet and a spare room filled with memories of when I was thin. I was only 97 pounds when I graduated from high school I was very thin but I really didn't have much muscle. So I really don't care if I get there again. I do however want to get as close to the 110 that I was five or so years ago or maybe six I really can't remember exactly when that was but my goal is now set at getting to and staying at 120 pounds or less. I don't want to be a body builder just toned up and not weak so I should not have the kind of muscle weight a man would put on.

I know it is not good to not be able to be confident when you are overweight but I am there. I feel like I was taken seriously and liked better when I was thin. I don't really think it was because I was thin but more because of the way I felt when I was thin. I felt healthy and more alive and so much more confident. I was also more disciplined in every area of my life so I felt like I was accomplishing goals. I really just feel like a big blob right now. I have no one to blame but my self and my laziness and I have to change it no matter what. I have no shape except kind of round. I am starting to see a waist again but not much I think the next 10 pounds will really make a difference though so we will see. I have to change a lot of things not just my weight. I need to keep my house up as well as be a better wife and friend. When I get lazy I don't just gain weight I stop doing most anything productive. I kind of give up on most things but I am going to work to change that.

Hit My First Weigh Loss Goal

I have every ten pounds lost as a day to celebrate. I have lost my first ten pounds. So today I am going to choose to be happy about that. I don't really feel much smaller yet but I picked up my two 5 pound weights and realized that is a lot of weight off my knees.
I know that I have been able to do a lot more without feeling like I needed to rest that I did ten pounds ago. I am also sure that I have gained some muscle as I work out so it is a bigger accomplishment than I can see right now.
The new low carb approach to my diet seems to be helping a lot. I really made up my own version of the low carb diet because I think some of them are just plain silly. I have been eating a lot of fruits and veggies and meat. I have not been eating bread at all at least not now. I think I am addicted to bad carbs so I am going to add some whole grain stuff in slowly but I need to stay away from it for now. Once I eat them I just want more and more. That is why I can't loose the weight I think? Even thought I was eating few calories they were a lot of empty calories or calories that made me still feel hungry. I still feel hungry sometimes now but when I eat more protein with fruits and veggies instead of breads and pastas I feel full much longer.
Of course the fact that I am working out is a big key to the weight loss but I have cut it back to an hour a day because it is easier for me to keep up with that than 90+ minutes a day. I seem to be able to be more consistent when I don't do too much. So each day I am going to start my workout with an hour in mind and then if I still feel like going longer after the hour I will if not I will stop. That is what I will be doing when I get done here. Since I don't have to work until tomorrow I just decided to do my work out a little later today. I got up at 5 in the morning but I did something different today.

Today I read some devotionals sent to me in my email and decided that I am going to get back to spending time in devotions and prayer. It is not that I don't ever do it either I pray just about everyday but it is random and not on my priority list. I really want to be a better wife and live a life with some more discipline to it. So I created a digital prayer list and a journal to keep my thoughts and prayers in. Typing or writing things down helps me organize all the crazy stuff in my brain. Faith helps me in so many ways I really want to develop that again. I am starting small with short email devotions and will eventually do something more in depth.

Skirt I Am Making

Well the picture is not that great I need to learn how to resize things better. It got fuzzy and the color is more vivid.
My awesome mother-in-law is teaching me how to sew. I have had a machine for over two years now and have only made a few things. I like the goth look but I hate the prices at stores like Hot Topic. So we went to the fabric store in search of a material I could work with. I started with a crushed velvet skirt and it was aweful. I couldn't get the material to cooperate with me and I put my sewing machine away for a year. After reading up a little I learned that a stiffer fabric was better to start with. I also messed up other things when making the skirt but it is done and can be worn but just barely.
For this skirt I need to finish do the waist band and a bottom hem but I am going to wait until Saturday for my next lesson. I think I might start another skirt just like this one for the practice. I messed up the zipper a little but I don't think anyone will notice so I am leaving it that way and will try to do better on my next skirt. I am excited to be able to finish a skirt and while it took a lot of time for me it saved me a lot of money. If you don't count the pattern it only cost me about 15 dollars to make. If you count the pattern it is still under 20 dollars try finding a skirt for that price at Hot Topic.
I also know now that it will be to my benefit to raid the fabric store right after Halloween since for the fabrics that suit me well. I have to go get a zipper today and will look at their sales and see if there is anything else I really like. I have a few at home from last weeks trip so no worries if I don't see anything on sale that just screams my name. I am going to take a look at a few shirt patterns too and see if I want to try one next or stick with skirts for now.

65 Treadmill Minutes Before 7 AM

First I just want to remind you I am taking donations for a family I know that is why the papal widget is on my blog. Read more here.

Second I want to say that I am trying to get back into a schedule where I am done with my workout early enough to get ready for work and preferably before my husband gets home. He works 10:30 at night to 6:30 in the morning so he gets home a few minutes before 7. He likes to play video games when he comes home for awhile before he goes to bed and we only have one television. I usually watch something from Netflix while I am on so I am not bored to death.

I did it today but I was sleepy most of the way through the hour. I tried to go to bed at 8:30 hoping I would be asleep by nine but I was still awake at 9:35 or at least that is the last time I looked at the clock. I set my alarm for 5 but hit snooze three times. Maybe tonight I will be tired enough to go right to sleep. I really hate a morning schedule but I also know myself if I don't work out before work I won't have the energy to do it after work.

I am still not sure when I am going back to work. Shellie the woman who replaced me when I was in school is very close to her due date but she is working until she is ready to go to the hospital. I have been working one day a week for the past few weeks when she is at the doctor. I am glad to have the opportunity to go back but I hate not knowing what day I will start. So for now I will just try to get back to a schedule that will allow me to be ready in a matter of minutes if I need to go to work. I just won't plan anything for the mornings during the week and be worked out and showered before 8 so if I get the call I just have to get work clothes on, throw some makeup on and pack a lunch.

I spent last night going through some of my old clothes and was surprised at how little I was for quite some time. I boxed up things that I won't ever fit into again but saved a very small box of my favorites just in case. I had a lot of clothes marked size 0-3 and I just don't see me ever fitting into them again. I did however think of somethings I might be able to do with them and my sewing machine. I may not be able to wear them again but I can use them to make something else. That is why I saved some of my favorites. I then boxed up all the clothes the warm clothes I might fit in but not this season and clothes I am not sure I want to keep. I pulled out jeans and dress pants that were size 7-10 and put them in a box to try on as I loose weight. I pulled out some shirt that I should fit into when I loose 11 more pounds. I could put some of them on now but I would look awful in them. It was quite the motivator to loose some more weight or at least inches. I have a lot of clothes I like and can't wear. I want to wear them again at least some of them.

Donation Widget

Donation Widget

I have been blogging about the Rye family lately because they are very close to my heart. I don't have any idea what I can do for them so I added a donation button to my blogs. I am sure they will have more medical expenses then they planned on and other expenses related to the surgery their baby needed. He is doing better and the surgery went well. If any of my readers feel led to donate it will give every dime donated to them.

Baby Jonah is going to be in the hospital for a while and they are spending a lot of their time there. I would like to help them any way I can. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I just want you all to know the donation widget is not for me and as long as I have it up it will be for a family in need.

Having a Great Morning

Well I got up at 6:20 this morning and did some chores and had a mango for breakfast. Other than all the trouble I had cutting that thing up it was great. I have been eating fruit for breakfast the last three days. The best part about the morning was the weigh in. I am down another pound for a total of nine pounds weight loss.

Real quick I wanted to say thanks to Jeff King for all the encouragement. I understand what you are saying about feeling good about yourself but I just can't this overweight. I feel like crap not just mentally but physically as well. I have the frame of a say a tiny Asian woman. I not only don't look good at this weight but it makes my knees hurt and my hip that I broke last year. I am sure that will still hurt sometimes but I know my knees only hurt like this when I am way over weight. According to my BMI I am obese but that is only until I hit 155 which is now only one pound away. I also know that muscle weighs more but on that note unless I am trying to build a body builders body I should still fit in my healthy weight guidelines.

Like I have said before I don't need to be as thin as I used to be to feel good but I do need to be a healthy weight and I have never had this much trouble loosing weight before. I just have been having trouble remembering what I did to loose weight. Now if this new plan of staying away from breads and other starches for most meals continues to work I am staying on it. I really want to see my waist line go down some and I think this might work. If it doesn't then no one got hurt in the process I just have to pack up some food and take it to the food bank.

I worked out yesterday, toning for 20 minutes then straight to the treadmill for an hour. So hopefully with the new plan I won't have to workout 90 to 120 minutes everyday. I know I wont have time for that very soon I will be back to work.

Well Something Changed

The last day I worked out was Tuesday but I was on my feet for a good six hours yesterday. My post yesterday was that I was really frustrated that I gained weight. I hit 157.5 last Sunday and stayed there for five days. I always weigh in the morning when I get up and naked so there is not clothing fluctuation. So for whatever reason on Friday I weight 158 and on Saturday I weight 158.5. I was really upset because I couldn't get on the treadmill because the last time I was on I wore some leggings that apparently had a splinter of something hard in the seam and rubbed the skin right off my inner thigh. I didn't really notice it until I got in the shower after my 100 minutes on the treadmill. It is close to healed now and I bought some medical tape because a band-aide won't stay put there. Since I am so fat I couldn't walk without for extended periods of time without it bothering me and possibly getting worse.

So now your asking me why I was so upset right? Well it is because I was still making sure that I didn't eat too many freaking points (Weight Watchers). I was only hoping to maintain my weight without the workout. I was very frustrated because there is no way I can work out that 1.5 to two hours I have been doing when I get back to work. I will be able to get up early enough to get in an hour on most days but not much more. I will probably have to choose each day if I want to tone or do cardio except on the weekend. I also spent the day learning to make clothing and I will be happy to learn to take in the clothing but not to have to scrap what I made and start over because I have put all my weight back on. I will write about sewing later it was fun and I had a blast spending time with my mother-in-law.

Anyway all of this to say I am going back to a lower carbohydrate diet. I am not going to worry as much about points. I did it yesterday and woke up at 157 pounds today. That is a pound and a half in one day while I am sure there was something else going on as well like some bloating or something I am also quite sure I eat too much bread. I am just going to regulate my diet by what makes me loose weight. I can't stick to a strict no carb diet and I don't like many veggies so I have to be able to have fruits. I will just limit my grains and only eat whole grains when I do eat them. I am starting to think that while I love grains and breads that I don't process them well. What I do remember for sure about when I was thin is that I ate a lot of red meat and it seemed to make me feel full and make my toning more successful. Right now I feel very tired and weak after toning and really want something to eat and I usually go for the easy fix something low in calories and fat but high in carbs.

So I am just going to try to learn by seeing what works. I have seen some weight loss now I am at 8 pounds lost but I hold a lot of it in my midsection and it doesn't seem to be coming off there. I can see a difference in how the legs of my pants fit but I still can't see much of a difference in how the waist fits. So I really want to get about 5 more pounds off fast and still build muscle. I know it can be done I did it before I just can't remember exactly how. I lost a lot of weight in just a few months and then it took a while to get the last 10-15 pounds off but I managed to get rid of the bulk of it rather quickly. I know when you get older it is harder but I am only 32 so it shouldn't be that hard.

Last but not least if this new plan doesn't work I am going to see the doctor and make sure there is nothing physical hindering my weight loss. The only medication I take anymore is an occasional ibprofin and tums or a pepcid if the heartburn is really bad so it is not medication causing it to be so hard to loose weight. I bought yet another cookbook and I will let you know how I like it later.