I have let life get me down so much (my fault not life's fault) that I can't see the good half the time. I need to start looking at the positive and not the negative. I need to change my attitude and learn to live each day fully. I try not to talk about all the negative things I think and I try to push the thoughts away but they are there because I am not doing anything about them. I need to develop a better attitude and I need to become more disciplined.
I have had this great revelation that if I don't learn to change myself then even if I get another job or another house I won't be happy or satisfied. The change has to start with me and I need to learn what makes me feel happy and go for it. Right now nothing makes me happy except a good nights sleep. I am the problem thought because I am not doing enough to change that. I give up to easily on everything these days because I have lost my passion. I need to find my passion again and until then learn to get up off my lazy ass and start doing things until if find what makes me feel good about myself. The first one is having a clean house which is something I really hate doing but I like the results and I feel good that it is done and much more able to relax. The second is to spend an allotted amount of time each day not half the day on my blogs and other writing projects including a journal I started. I need to have a daily journal time that includes finding what I really like to do.
I know that I love:
- Working with animals especially dogs
- Gardening when I don't plant it under a tree that kills the plants
- Paper Work or any task like that if it keeps me busy