I am still awake at 11PM and feeling like crap. I have been really thinking about my life the last few weeks. I have decided I am going to change a lot of things in my life. I am tired of trying to be such an agreeable person. I am not very confrontational in any area of my life. I am a Christian so I am going to change my priorities to be in line with my faith but also take charge of my life. I am no longer going to sit around and watch things pass me by.
I am going to learn to be a strong confident woman. I am not going to just take crap from people around me. That will take some work since I even apologize for apologizing. I have somehow learned to take blame so well I don't often know how to stand up for myself.
I am also really good at giving up on something before I give it a real chance. I don't quit on the really important things in life like my marriage when it gets to be hard work but other things I find hard to stick with. I love to write but I don't really do it much outside the classroom. I don't know maybe it is a fear of rejection or a fear of hard work that doesn't pay off. I am going to make some goals to post at least a few articles on my associated content account each month. I am not going to be strict on that because there will be a lot of school work that needs to be done too. I am going to make a commitment to post at least once a week on my blogs even if it is just a short update or a quick tip. There is also a lot of school writing required and I plan to take advantage of the writing center and my teachers knowledge.
I am starting to get tired but for all those out there that pray please keep me in your prayers. I also want to get back in shape and I am having trouble staying motivated. It is not something that has been a huge issue for me in the past but now I have put on so much weight I am having trouble staying on track I never feel like there is a reward. I also eat for comfort, I know this but I have trouble stopping it. I have been stocking the house with healthier snacks so I am sure that helps. This is not helping with my low self confidence. I don't remember always being like this, one day you look up and you are just a shell of the person you once were. How do you get here?
How do you get here?
ReplyDeleteI think by settling…
Settling for things, like settling for the job you have or the husband or settling for the way he treats you. or the way you treat yourself. Settling for taking a back seat and letting the things you want to do go unnoticed. Settling for gaining 10 pounds, then 10 more until you feel beyond help. Settling for living life instead of striving for your dreams.
Remember to write for the love of it, and writing can never be a waste of time or effort. It should bring happiness to your life regardless of being published or anyone else reading it. Look in the mirror every day and smile. Take pride in what you have. Be thankful you are you. Work to change your behavior and attitude towards yourself and project the person you want to be....
That’s all I can tell ya.