Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Reading, Writing and Loosing Weight
I am still awake at 11PM and feeling like crap. I have been really thinking about my life the last few weeks. I have decided I am going to change a lot of things in my life. I am tired of trying to be such an agreeable person. I am not very confrontational in any area of my life. I am a Christian so I am going to change my priorities to be in line with my faith but also take charge of my life. I am no longer going to sit around and watch things pass me by.
I am going to learn to be a strong confident woman. I am not going to just take crap from people around me. That will take some work since I even apologize for apologizing. I have somehow learned to take blame so well I don't often know how to stand up for myself.
I am also really good at giving up on something before I give it a real chance. I don't quit on the really important things in life like my marriage when it gets to be hard work but other things I find hard to stick with. I love to write but I don't really do it much outside the classroom. I don't know maybe it is a fear of rejection or a fear of hard work that doesn't pay off. I am going to make some goals to post at least a few articles on my associated content account each month. I am not going to be strict on that because there will be a lot of school work that needs to be done too. I am going to make a commitment to post at least once a week on my blogs even if it is just a short update or a quick tip. There is also a lot of school writing required and I plan to take advantage of the writing center and my teachers knowledge.
I am starting to get tired but for all those out there that pray please keep me in your prayers. I also want to get back in shape and I am having trouble staying motivated. It is not something that has been a huge issue for me in the past but now I have put on so much weight I am having trouble staying on track I never feel like there is a reward. I also eat for comfort, I know this but I have trouble stopping it. I have been stocking the house with healthier snacks so I am sure that helps. This is not helping with my low self confidence. I don't remember always being like this, one day you look up and you are just a shell of the person you once were. How do you get here?