Friday, August 14, 2009
Well today I go see a counselor, I hope she can help me sort out some of my issues. I have bigger issues feeling very depressed but I really don't want to talk about that. I am thinking she can help me with my eating when I am depressed issue too. I have done well after crying for a week I have only over eaten once when I went out to eat last night with the ladies from my small group. Stuffing my mouth with food was easy because there was chips and salsa on the table, it kept me from crying and it felt good to eat.
I know I will never be confident and sexy with what amounts to a food addiction, especially when I look to food for comfort. I have found a wonderful woman on a message board who I am working with as a partner to talk about our food issues. It has helped a lot in my keeping away from too much food. I know it won't help my depression to eat but for that moment it does. In the long run I feel worse.
I have a giant headache from crying and that makes it hard for me to work out, I have also been sleeping too much. I start school in a week so I really need to get this under control somehow and I refuse to take medicine. That just messes with my body and makes me feel numb. I did read a book one of the really bad days. I couldn't take the crying or food cravings anymore so I just sat down with a book found an alternate reality to immerse myself into. I started the Anna Strong Chronicles and will have a review soon at http://darknovels.blogspot.com