Taking Charge Of My Life

First things first I am going to make it to that twenty pounds weight loss and get a great cross tattooed on my wrist. I am looking for Gothic crosses and I want to have it picked out by the time I reach my goal. I will post something that I like here periodically let me know what you think.

This weekend I took a long look at my life and I don't like where I am. I don't even really like myself half the time and I just don't know what to do or at least that was how I was feeling. I have been feeling like I am not in control of anything. I am made the decision to change things the things that I can. I have been focusing on the wrong things I don't think making money will make me feel any better about myself, although that would be nice there are things I need to do first. I am going to go crazy insane about my goal to get in shape.

I have been so afraid of hurting myself again I have been making excuses not to push myself. I am still going to listen to my body but I know the difference between sore and pain and I am just going to have to stop making excuses. I have about a month and a half before I go back to work and I am going to take advantage of that time off to work my butt off literally. I have been doing 60 minutes most days on the treadmill but I did 90 minutes last night around 10pm and 100 this morning about 10am and I plan to either do some more time on the treadmill tonight when my husband leaves for work or lift some weights.

I decided to start with this because I have done it before and when I was a healthy weight it helped me to feel in control. It helped me to feel better about myself and to actually feel good physically. Like I said I am so over trying to be super thin but if I can get to where I feel good again that would be great. I am more confident when I am not so overweight. When I can develop discipline in this area other areas seem to follow. The one thing I remember about when I got thin about 5 years ago was that I worked out a lot and I still got to eat plenty and things I liked except sweets and fried foods. I ate just about everything but in moderation. I like food too much to give up eating normal so I have to work a lot.

So for the next month and a half I will be posting daily about my work out schedule and probably my struggles with eating the right things. Today I will be having the same thing for lunch that I had for breakfast a big whole wheat waffle with homemade blueberry topping.