Finding my WHY

Finding my WHY?
I have been working in direct sales and watching the biggest looser and I found a common thread in them. I know it is hard to connect the dots but this is really something everyone needs to think about. Why is it that you want something? Do you have a clear why in your work and you fitness goals? If you don't have a clear concept of why you are doing something it makes it that much harder to get it done.

I have been searching for my in business and now in fitness and I have come to the conclusion that I have been frustrated because I have been confusing some concepts. I thought my "why" and my end goal were the same thing. For example I thought the amount of money I wanted to make was going to motivate me to sell more products. I thought fitting into the tiny dress I have been dying to wear again was my fitness why. None of this was truly the case once I started to examine things and listen to my emotions.

My business why's have all changed and they actually only have a little to do with money. My fitness has long been a passion for me and I am working hard to get there because I love myself when I am fit! That is an amazing reason to do this.

I am completing an exercise in a book right now by defining my why here on my blog so I can refer back to it. So here goes.....
I want to sell enough products with my side business to pay for the education and equipment I will need to become a personal trainer and group fitness instructor. That is pretty much the main reason for the side business and I am going to keep working at it but I am not going to alienate friends and family to make it happen or spend half my week busting my but for one party booking and being frustrated.

With that said I used to spend a good 30-50 hours a week participating in exhausting activities and shelling out more than half of what I earned to keep promoting my business and all it did for me was make me feel exhausted and frustrated. Not going to happen any more because for once I know what I ultimately want to do and I am going to focus on that.

Here is where I struggle I have so many why's for wanting to be fit and half of them are very selfish! Well that is what I used to think. I love to help others and I like to make others happy especially my hubby and I have been living a lot of my life for others. Well I am done with that but first I want to say the pressure to please others was something I put on myself. I just assumed that my hubby was thinking this or that. I thought he would think I was stupid for wanting to be in the fitness industry....but once I asked him I was completely wrong. How many years have I wasted like this. I didn't believe I could dance but after sticking to it for months and month I am getting better.

Fitness why's may sometimes feel silly and selfish but here we go

I want to look good in that dress, in a bikini (even if I never wear one) and yes I want to look good naked even if the only people who ever see me that way are my hubby and whatever doctor I may have to see.

I want to look in the mirror and feel like every day I have accomplished something by keeping my body in great shape.

I want to get strong so I can do every Pole Dance move known and then some

I want to continue to get fit so I can teach others how to get fit and help them on a path to a new life

I want to stay fit so I have confidence.. For this one I used to think being thin was the reason I felt confident  and yes that helps a lot but the real source of this confidence is that I put in the work and achieved a goal.

I want to feel good about myself all the time so I want to keep pushing to the next level and the next and never give up.

I want to feel good physically not just look good but feel good. I want to have the energy to make it through each day. I want to be healthy yes but that is too broad I mean it when I say I want to feel good.

Here is one that I am embarrassed to say but it is true and I think about it from time to time. I want my hubby to notice other people looking at him like he is a lucky man when we go out together. I want to be the girl that draws a little extra attention.

So those are a few of my fitness why's

Now I have to set some goals the first of which I have already started. Getting fit is a lofty goal so I have to break it down into smaller pieces. So here goes.....

Goal 1
I want to see my abs by June. I know I have them I can feel the muscle but I still have enough fat around the midsection that I can not see them. So the fat must go!

How am I going to do that? 
I am going to start with going back to calorie counting and see what I am eating and what I need to cut. I don't like to do this because I tend to get obsessive and spend a lot of time on it or refuse to go out with my hubby and relax but it needs to be done for at least a few weeks just to calculate the amount of calories I am eating and get on top of any new foods that I don't really know the calorie amount.

I am going to log my exercise and work to get an average of at least 2 hours a day in activity. Don't worry yourselves I am not talking about strenuous exercise for 2 hours every day. I am just talking about a good strenuous work out about 5-6 days a week for 45-90 minutes and some more leisure or fun but consistent activities such as walking the dog or going out dancing.

Next I am going to be more active in every day activities like when I am reading I can stand up, when I play a game on the tablet to pass a little time before I need to be somewhere I can pace. I can do my least favorite thing in the world and clean my house more often. I can practice dance moves while cleaning and while getting ready. I can do those figure 8's (hips move in the shape of an 8) while I am blow drying my hair.  I think you get the picture.

My worst enemy is the television these days I love my TV so one of my first financial goals is to save up for that treadmill I really want so I can watch television while working out even if it is just a light walk. I can spend several hours each day watching television because I have so many things I enjoy watching and it just sucks my time away. I watch it all on Hulu so it is not like I have to watch at a particular time but I always watch in the am while I wake up. When I get the treadmill I will get up and set the treadmill up and do my usual feed all the animals and myself and get on the treadmill for a light morning walk while I watch last nights episode of Nashville. If I feel up to I could make it a jog or a run as I wake up. My bet is this will make my wake up time shorter most days too. I just need to get myself on a budget and work towards buying this treadmill.

Here is the really important one I will chart my progress and evaluate my diet and exercise program every two weeks. If I am not getting the results I need to get where I want to be I will tweak it a little but I will be able to wear that dress and look great in it by June! I can't measure in pounds right now. While some more pounds may come off I am not going to frustrate myself I am down to 127 but I know to get to the size I want I may not loos too many more pounds overall because I will be gaining muscle as I loose the fat. I would be happy when it is all said and done to see 120 on the scale but I will be happy with any weight that has me looking lean and strong. I want people to look at me and know that I work out I don't just want to be skinny.

Healthy for Life My Story

It really has been a long time since I have updated any of my many blogs. I have been working hard to change my life and made many personal discoveries. I have had to face many obstacles and have come out with a new vision.

I started my weight loss journey again several years ago. I was down to a good healthy weight and had kept it off for quite some time give or take a few pounds. Then as a 31 year old I had an accident and broke my hip and I was hoping to get right back up and spend a lot of time walking the dog and on the treadmill and in roller skating and other activities I really enjoyed. Well that didn't happen walking on the pavement still hurts and skating is kind of scary because I can't find a great place to go with a clean enough area to skate in. The treadmill I can do now but at first it hurt like hell and it really upset me so I gave up.

I drown my fear and anxiety in food, and activities that kept my mind off of the obvious issues and my booty on the couch. I was really depressed and lost all confidence. One day I had had it and started back despite the physical limitations deciding a slow steady walk on the treadmill was better than sitting on the couch and I worked my way up to more intensity and got a gym membership and moved on to weights and cardio fitness. I dropped about 20 pounds. I am never sure what I weighed at my heaviest because I refused to weigh until about a month or so after that life changing day.

Then I got stuck and discouraged and I tried many things with my diet that I now believe were just silly. Not that shakes and supplements are all bad but I really don't think anyone needs them to be healthy. Then I decided that maybe the workout's I was doing were not helping that much anymore. I was still in the overweight category and I decided to look for something fun to do. Something that would leave me disappointed when I couldn't make it. I found pole dance fitness and I was finally motivated to go to class as it has both cardio and strength training in one and I have never once felt like the class was 70-90 minutes long. Okay maybe the first month I when I was worn out at about 45 minutes it seemed kind of long but once I built up the strength I was so motivated to just move to the next level. I lost another 25 pounds in less than 6 months!

I kept thinking to myself I want to do this for a living, but instead I signed up with another direct sales company to try to cut the expenses of going to every possible class I could at the dance studio. I still didn't believe that I could do something like teach health and fitness for a living. I have performed with the studio in front of live audiences and still didn't believe in myself. I started to gain a little of the weight back over the holidays and started feeling a little depressed again and even participating in some of the old eating for comfort behaviors I thought I had kicked. About 5 pounds later I was starting to feel it in my clothes and decided there was no way I was going back there again and I kicked it back in to high gear the last two weeks of February up to today. I am pleased to say the weight is gone already and I am feeling better again because I am eating well and exercising.

For the first time in my life I didn't let that failure overcome me and it pushed me to take a plunge into a new carreer. Last Monday I signed up to become an ACE personal trainer and I have plans to get at least at least one more of the ACE certifications and to learn to teach Pole and other forms of dance fitness.

I like the direct sales company I work for now but it is not my ultimate goal and I had to overcome some issues the last few weeks. I work with a food company and the main focus is really on the unhealthy items so I was feeling conflicted. I decided to put that aside and focus more on the healthy items and even healthier preparation of items that are though of as traditionally unhealthy.  I am feeling renewed in my business and in my life!

I thought I would share this story and also have a record for myself to see how far I have come. I am not sure about my exact weight I don't monitor it all the time right now because I have been at healthy weight for some time now and I tend to gain muscle and get frustrated by the scale sometimes. I measure more by the way my clothes fit and the size 4 jeans that were getting tight a little less than a month ago are starting to get a little loose and that is a great feeling!

I am going to prove that anyone who puts there mind to something can do it. One of my goals even with the metal in my leg is to get a flat split in at least one direction. With my injury I am proceeding slow and with caution but I am almost all the way down in a front split with my left leg in front and more than half with the right in front. I am sure I will be able to perfect the front split if I keep at it and don't push too hard. Then we will see about the straddle. One goal on working the injured leg at a time.

Then the other goal is to prove that anyone can get those nice looking abs if they just work hard enough. I know I can but I also know it will take a ton of work on my part and I need to kick up the cardio because when I work my abs I can feel the muscle under them. I want to loose the fat so I can also see that muscle.

If you made it this far I hope my story has inspired you from now on this blog will be about my healthy lifestyle and helping others adopt a healthy life. Feel free to ask me questions I am here to help!