Three More Weeks of Class Left

I have class on Monday next week and then the rest of the week off and then two more weeks. I don't think that I have anything exam week but I do have one take home final. I have no idea if he will pass it out on the last day of class and collect it exam week or not. I am actually excited about classes being over so I can focus on some reading and writing that I want to do.

I will also be able to set up a good workout routine. I will have a few months before I go back to work full time so I plan to get into better shape during that time. I also plan to try some new healthy recipes while I have time to cook. When you are on the go all the time and don't have a lot of recipes to choose from you end up with out a plan for healthy meals.

I have been made myself an electronic journal to write my daily thoughts and activities. I am also using it to practice my typing. I am really thinking sometimes I put off writing even though I love to do it because I am only okay at typing. So I have even tried listening to music and typing it because it has some breaks.

I even have a Pure Romance party on December 5th where I hope to make some of my money I put into the business back. I hope to book a few more parties from that as well. I am working on some financial goals for my business mostly I want to make some money after all the expenses. If I can make the money I put in it back and then some maybe I will start to feel better about it. If I try harder and benefit then I can work on bigger goals.

My Crazy Life

Well it is not that crazy just not always fun. Oh well that things happen and it could be worse. Thursday I took my car to have it looked at at the shop I used to work at. I will be working there again soon but just part time. Anyway my brakes were acting weird I didn't have an appointment so I knew I would have to wait. I was there for several hours and had to go back the next day but the parts were under warranty! So even thought I lost all that time I got the work done for free so I guess it was worth it. If I had waited a month the parts would not be past warranty.

On another note I am not going to school next semester. My husband and I have been attending counseling to work on communication and he actually started talking about me going to school. He is not against it but he wants me to see if I can start a career in writing before I get another degree. He wants me to do more research before I spend the money on college at 8000+ dollars a year. If I do go back to school I need a better plan. This is not something he talked to me about before but I am glad he has now. He was right that I didn't do enough research and see if there is something I can do having my Bachelors degree. The counselor gave me some ideas on who to call and ask if they only hire people with English degrees. So for now I am going to finish up this semester and go to the library and get some books on writing and work at home on my writing skills.

I am also going to try to sell at least enough pure romance products to get my money back. I don't want to spend anymore money until I get at least break even. I really wanted my website to work but it is not happening I am very disappointed. The products are not really for everyone I am not sure I chose the best product to sell. I love the stuff but not everyone is comfortable with it. I have a party for December 5th so maybe that will help me book a few more parties. I am planning an open house for January.

Marriage counseling is going well, even thought I have read and read about the differences in men and women it is still hard to understand. I can say something and he hears something so different from what I meant and it goes the other way too. I think it is the first time he has been able to understand that. Now we just have to learn to have conversations where we are asking each other extra questions to make sure we really understand each other.

I did get a lot of work done this week but I still need to get back to working out. I am just going to try to stay up and moving around more and try to walk the dog for right now. I only have three weeks of school left and a few things due during exam week. I want to have everything done before exam week so I don't have to go back unless it is to pick up my portfolios. I just want to work hard the next two weeks to get this stuff done. I have a paper, a take home exam. a final project, and two portfolios to turn in in the last three weeks.

After that I want to kick some but working out until I go back to work. Right now I am working on eating better and less again. No snacking unless it is a very healthy snack. I am going to have to spend a lot of time saying no at holiday parties because I really do feel better when I don't eat a lot of junk food.

So life is just crazy for me these days but not bad things are looking up.

Yesterday Was Awesome, Today Not so Much

Yesterday I spent almost all day reading. I stopped only to eat and take a shower in the go to counseling and small group. We had a communication breakthrough in counseling and small group is always fun. Nothing bad happened yesterday!

I have to get on track today, I posted a review of the book I finished at http://darknovels.blogspot.com it was the 8th book in the Sookie Stackhouse novels. Today I paln to clean, clean and clean some more. I should finish listening to Moby Dick while I am doing that but I also have My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding and Witchling on audio and might start one of those and alternate for the rest of the weekend.

As for exercise I plan to get back on track Saturday I think the massive house cleaning will serve as good exercise for today. I want to workout but I got off track after Monday of this week because of female issues that I have not had in 11 years because of the birth control I was on. I forgot what it was like.

Long Day But Good Day

I got up at 5:30 this morning to make sure I got my work out in. After breakfast and some coffee I did almost an hour of the Carmen Electra video I have been doing. It is only the third but I can already get more done. There are only a few things I just can't do yet so I do something else or use the time to let my heart rate slow a little just taking steps or marching in place. It is awesome I have also been eating smaller portions again and I feel better.

I have a clearer mind when I work out in the morning so I am going to try to keep this up. I will have to go back to work as well as school sometime in March so I need to have a good routine down.

I met with my professor that gave me the C+ and he said I have a solid B in the class but I said I don't like B's I like A's and he agreed to help me with my next paper. He will help me with the topic and he will look over a rough draft. I was worried about nothing, when he told me what I was doing wrong I understood what he wanted. I think I could do well on the next paper with just the information that he gave me today. I want an A though so I am going to take advantage of the help.

My creative writing teacher canceled class again today with a nice note on the door. I have been checking all my university accounts for email each day before class so I don't end up stuck there again when class is canceled. I don't really have a problem with classes being canceled but this is the third time with no warning. Most teachers will email us in the morning if they decide they can't make it to school that day. I have three classes one at 11, creative writing is at 2 and the other is at 4 so I could have gone home between classes or brought Moby Dick and got started on that. I have to read the whole thing tomorrow so that is what I will be doing all day. I have an audio version so I will probably listen to that while I fold laundry or something that needs done but requires little concentration.

So tomorrow I work out read and clean. I hope to drop 300 more cards as well. I did that this morning while my husband played video games.

On the plus side I have earned a few dollars from Adgetize and Adsense the last few months. I seem to get a little more each month. Maybe one day I can make $50 or more dollars a month with my blogs.

Got a New Laptop! Major Changes For Me

Today is a good day! I had a great evening with my husband last night and I got a new laptop. Everything works! I can spend my time between classes working on homework now without having to go to a computer lab. I can also do my blogging and homework in my recliner.

I was sore all day yesterday from a 20 minute workout the day before. It confirms that I have become very weak. I did the first 20 minutes of the toning video in the Carmen Electra Striptease series. No I am not studying to be a stripper it is a great work out and could be a plus for my marriage. I used to be able to do the whole video with ease. I was not sore until the next day but that is pretty bad. So I am going to try it again today and see how far I can get. I think I have been too weak to actually get a good cardio workout in.

I am have some homework and house work to do today. My wonderful husband did get some of the house work done last night. He also spent some time setting up my new computer!

I am going to have to back off school next semester. My goal is to make sure that I don't go into debt finishing school. I am going to go back to my old job part time sometime in March. My replacement is pregnant. She will need some time off and might want to work part time after that. So I will just take two classes and take the summer off. I already have the money saved for two classes and the job will make it so I don't have to dip into our savings for next fall.

Today is off to a great start I just have to stay focused and get as much homework done as I can. Then I will have more time to do what I want on Sunday. I do have to learn some of the new features on this computer as well.

Happy Halloween!

Journal Entry One --What to do?

Well I am feeling better today after the let down yesterday. Today is a new day and I am going to make the most of it. I want to work out today, maybe pull out a work out video and see how much I can do. I believe I have some that are mostly strength training with a little cardio to keep your heart rate up. I think some of my problem staying motivated is becasue I have grown very weak, especially in the leg that was broken. That means I am slow at everything so I am going to focus first on building my strength back.

I do know when I am not this overweight I am so much more confident. I don't know why some of my confidence is directly tied to my weight but it is I just have to face it. I have to do something about it. I was still confident at 20 lbs overweight but at 40 not so much so if I can just loose 20 pounds and get physically stronger I will be in good shape. I am not so worried about being skinny as being healthier. My brain functions better when I feel better. I am also thinking some of my stomach problems are from being so overweight.

The weight thing has been on my mind a lot lately. Also my future career has been on my mind. I am not liking this whole Pure Romance gig and started thinking that I would try Tastefully Simple but instead of just jumping in, I spent some time researching it and decided that if I do that I will have to make the money somewhere else to get the kit. I think I just don't like selling things. Or to put it more accurately I don't like doing the parties. I don't think a food party would be as hard as a Pure Romance party. I am sure there are a lot less rules but I would actually prefer an internet based business with the option to do some sort of demo party for friends and family. I am thinking I will stay active with Pure Romance for now because I may take the summer off school and work part time at my old job. I would have time then to really give it a fair chance.

Other than that I am really going to try to focus on some writing. I have a portfolio to get ready for my Creative writing class and I want to wirte some articles for Associated Content. Can I just say one of the reasons I have not done this is stupid but true. My laptop is broken we restored the thing and now it won't read any discs so I can't install a word processing program. Our regular computer has two choices of chair a hard wooden one or a hard plastic one that is nearly as old as I am. I have not been in agreement with my husband on a new computer. I know what I want and since I am the one who uses it the most I have trouble with compromising on this one.

I want a laptop I can take to school that way I can type between classes making better use of my time. I want a Mac, I hear great things about them and they seem to last a lot longer than a PC but my husband keeps trying to get me to look at anything but what I want. He even looked at the Mac desktops to replace our desk top. I am actually not concerned about replacing the desktop at all. It runs fine but it is stationary. If it comes down to it I will just look for a good chair on craigslist or something and sit there. Sometimes I get the feeling that my husband would have pushed for a Mac if I had said I hate them a million times. I don't want to act like he is a big jerk over this, I see his point that they are expensive. I but from what I have heard and read they don't get a lot of viruses and with all the stuff I do to promote my blog I need that plus I hear you don't have to replace them as often unless you want the tech updates. I would be fine with this laptop if it worked right. After getting a virus it has lost a lot of its functions and yes we had a virus program.

On a happy note I am going to leave in a few hours to watch my nephew's Halloween parade he will be a Ninja Turtle.

Reading, Writing and Loosing Weight

I am still awake at 11PM and feeling like crap. I have been really thinking about my life the last few weeks. I have decided I am going to change a lot of things in my life. I am tired of trying to be such an agreeable person. I am not very confrontational in any area of my life. I am a Christian so I am going to change my priorities to be in line with my faith but also take charge of my life. I am no longer going to sit around and watch things pass me by.

I am going to learn to be a strong confident woman. I am not going to just take crap from people around me. That will take some work since I even apologize for apologizing. I have somehow learned to take blame so well I don't often know how to stand up for myself.

I am also really good at giving up on something before I give it a real chance. I don't quit on the really important things in life like my marriage when it gets to be hard work but other things I find hard to stick with. I love to write but I don't really do it much outside the classroom. I don't know maybe it is a fear of rejection or a fear of hard work that doesn't pay off. I am going to make some goals to post at least a few articles on my associated content account each month. I am not going to be strict on that because there will be a lot of school work that needs to be done too. I am going to make a commitment to post at least once a week on my blogs even if it is just a short update or a quick tip. There is also a lot of school writing required and I plan to take advantage of the writing center and my teachers knowledge.

I am starting to get tired but for all those out there that pray please keep me in your prayers. I also want to get back in shape and I am having trouble staying motivated. It is not something that has been a huge issue for me in the past but now I have put on so much weight I am having trouble staying on track I never feel like there is a reward. I also eat for comfort, I know this but I have trouble stopping it. I have been stocking the house with healthier snacks so I am sure that helps. This is not helping with my low self confidence. I don't remember always being like this, one day you look up and you are just a shell of the person you once were. How do you get here?