I Will Be Working On My Attitude Today

I am exhausted and not just because I can't sleep. I have been working at my step-dad's automotive shop part time for about the last 6 months. I quit there full time thinking I would go back to school and get another degree. Then went back when my replacement was going to deliver her baby.

I left work in tears many days before I quit the first time. I also was put on anxiety medication to control the almost constant migraine headache I had while working there. I am not writing this to trash my step-dad he can do that for himself. It is just impossible to work for him.
He is either mean or like a toddler slamming doors and stomping around. He does thinks I take advantage of him. I don't know about most people but my real dad helped me out when I needed it. I am not talking about money. I am talking about coming with me to see a house to check and see if I didn't see something major wrong with it, or having my mom take me to the doctor when my hubby can't and I need a ride home. I do the same for them when I can. I thought that is what family was for. I don't take money from them except from my job or something they pay me to do that they don't have the time to do.

Just so you don't think I am a spoiled whiny brat in 4 years he has fired at least 6 mechanics and is now working in the shop by himself. I think for me the worst part is no matter what I do he thinks I am trying to take advantage of him. I am tempted to find a new mechanic just so I don't have to ask him for help ever again. I pay him to fix my car but it is discounted but my car also sits in the shop most of the time until there are no other customers and has been known to be a month.

So I started feeling the headaches and the stress come back. I thought it was best to end it before I started getting yelled at for things I didn't even do. Once he is mad at you there is no going back, even if it is for something you were NEVER told to do. It just gets worse and worse.

I had already decided to try to get a job in my field. I do have a degree in Social Work and I could make a lot more money doing that part time. I have been working hard to get my continuing education in and I finished all thirty hours in less than a week of constant reading and studying. Then I renewed my license and membership to the NASW. I have my second interview this morning at nine. I was going to stay until I had another job in place but I was afraid my health was going to be affected.

I only have 4 more work days and I will be done for good. I knew when I started to get scared to talk to him that things were going downhill and if we are to be able to get along outside as a family I needed to quit. I would rather work at McDonald than ever work for him again. I don't think I will have to do that with my degree I should be able to get something and I might even enjoy it.

So my new plan is to get a Social Work job and work on writing. I have a few leads that seem promising on the writing. I will have tons more time soon and things are really looking up.

Going Crazy

I only have a few minutes before I leave for one of my last five days at work. I have been kind of depressed the last few weeks. I have been working a lot but work at my regular job has started to get really bad again. So I put my two weeks in before I get back to where I have a never ending migraine headache. I have felt like I am on the verge of a nervous break down or something so I have refrained from posting. I don't want my blog to be about complaining about my life.

I will be back soon. I did get my Social Work license renewed after lots of studying and taking continuing education classes. I am now looking for a job in my field. I am hoping to earn some writing too. I have an awesome woman helping me with that.

Thanks for all of you out there that have been supporting me.

Worked A Ton This Week

I worked three days at the office this week instead of two. I will do that again next week because the other woman went on vacation. I also applied for some freelance writing jobs and received a few replies. They all paid based on web traffic and referrals. I don't think they will make much so I spent some time researching and found that Examiner.com was pretty reputable. I am working on a few articles and I will be their Toledo German Shepherd examiner. I know it is not the best place to earn money but it is a start and it is a place I will be able to send potential employers.

I know a few people that I can interview about German Shepherds and I am sure they can send me to others. I also know a few dog trainers and I can talk to my vet. I am not sure how much traffic something like that will bring but I am all over it and I will make it work.

I will soon have 2-3 posts ready for Your Dark Passenger as well. They started as one post and that got out of control so now I have to figure out how to separate it. Then I have to make them perfect before I post them.

My sister got a job and she is moving out of my moms house this weekend so I have to let her come pick up some of the things she had in storage here. I also have to clean and look at houses this weekend so it will be a busy one. I am actually kind of happy to have a lot going on i just wish I could spread it out a little more. Oh well that is life there are busy times and slow times and you can't always chose.

Writing and Volunteering Today

First I want to say please pray for Matt and Sarah Hammitt and their little boy Bowen. Matt is the lead singer of Sanctus Real and he went to my high school. Their baby was born with a heart problem and he is now in the hospital. After a few close calls he is still hanging in there. Your can read more at  Bowens Heart.

I myself am suffering from lack of sleep because of rude people who like to make a lot of noise at all hours of the night. When i can actually identify all the words in a conversation outside at 11pm I am thinking it is too loud.

I am just going to quit thinking about that and try to get enough coffee in me to make the best of what I have today. I volunteer at Toledo Area Ministries today from 1-3 but other than that I plan to be writing. Jen Whitten who has been like an angel to me over the years has invited me to post on one of her blogs. Your Dark Passenger is a blog I read often and I am really excited about being able to contribute. So excited my mind has gone blank and I am having trouble thinking well enough to focus on a topic. I have a post in the works but I am nervous about it. Who would have thought I would get like this when writing for someone I admire.

I also plan to get a few sample articles ready for applying for freelance writing jobs. I have no idea what to write about for these articles. I have been thinking a few articles about dogs, religion, book reviews, and other random articles. I just need to continue writing and things will work out eventually.

Love My Awesome Hubby!

Three days this week my husband and I walked the dog. One day at Wildwood park and two days in our neighborhood. Each walk was over an hour and a half long. We talked about work, dogs, houses, and career changes. Yet another reason in my life to be happy.

Ryan (my hubby) has also worked his tail off this week. He worked on the holiday, 8 extra hours during the week and a 12 hour weekend shift. He knows how much I would like to move and he has been accepting more over time. I really wanted to acknowledge publicly that my husband is a great hardworking guy.

I spent today cleaning and looking for freelance writing jobs. I need to find a few jobs to start a portfolio. I am going to work hard and make my dream of working mostly from home a reality. I don't know exactly what that looks like right now but with my knowledge and skills I would be very good at writing for a non-profit social service organization. I will be volunteering again soon and that will help me with real world social service experience. My degree makes me qualified to take on more responsibility than the average volunteer. This week will be a learning experience for me as I am going to try hard to have a good attitude in the face of stepping into uncharted waters. I am going to change my life one day at a time.

Great Walk Yesterday

Last night I went for a great walk with my hubby and dog. We were gone over an hour and a half. The weather was awesome and the conversation great. I am hoping for nice weather again this evening so we can go for another walk.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been if we were at a park instead of in on our city blocks. It would have been nicer to walk wooded trails on a dirt path. We do that when we have all day but not on an evening my hubby has to work because we have to drive to the metro-park.

I am feeling so happy lately and it really helps to spend extra time with my hubby and dog. It also helps to have a positive outlook on life even when things are not going my way. What has helped the most is to learn to believe that I can do anything if I work at it.

So today I am going to focus on writing, I am going to see if I can make a go of a career in writing. I will need to brush up on punctuation and learn everything I can about writing styles.

Life is awesome for me right now. I am so blessed to have faith, friends and family. I am very happy with the way things are going right now.

I Love Blogging, Wish It Was a Good Way To Make Money

This morning I woke up at 7:30 instead of 5:45 and it felt amazing. I still needed a cup of coffee to start functioning well but it didn't take as long as usual. My goals for the morning were to get blog posts up for at least some of my blogs. I got distracted a little with the thought of making money blogging again. The thought didn't last long as I got a great laugh when I saw the book on the side of this post.

It reminded me why I blog and what a mess that I make when I try to create a blog that produces income. I start to feel like it is work and I end up spending hours clicking other blogs and wasting time I could be doing more productive things. Then ultimately it becomes a chore that only pays pennies for an hour of work.

I can't say that it is impossible to make a 6 figure income blogging but for me I really don't see that happening. I don't think any of your average bloggers are going to make a huge income like that. There might be a lot of great tips in this book so I am actually thinking of picking it up if they have a library copy. I am not looking at it for the huge income but for some tips to improve my blogs. I would love to have more readers and improve things for the readers I have.

I am not going to try to make tons of money blogging because I start to focus on the money making aspect too much. I am however going try to post more often and attempt to bring more readers to my blogs. If I make a few advertising dollars great if I don't I am still loving it.

I have well over a year to get my Social Work license up to date. I can keep the credentials and I can work on a plan to use my Social Work knowledge to help people. I want to start a business of my own and work for myself . It may be an internet business not directly related to social work I am still trying to decide what to do. What I do know is that I don't want a traditional job. I don't mind sitting at a desk most of the day if I can choose when I get up and walk the dog or work out. I want a job where I can work from 10pm (when my hubby leaves for work) till the wee hours of the morning and then sleep in if that is what I choose to do. I have been thinking of trying to write again as I do enjoy it most of the time. I know I would have to put a lot time and effort into getting some paying jobs. I have also been thinking of marketing some life skills lessons on a website. I would have to write them and then get a website to sell the lessons. Then I may have to figure out how I can retain rights to them. I have a bunch of ideas for the first time in long time but I jut need to get some focus and work hard at meeting one goal at a time.

Visit my other blog Dark Novels for book & movie reviews.

New Day New Attitude After I Shake the Zombie

I need coffee this morning! I am going to have a good attitude today but first I need a few cups of coffee. Why is it that no matter how much or how little I sleep I feel like I could bite someones head off if they come near me before that first cup of coffee. Even in childhood before I  was allowed  to drink coffee I was always been crabby in the morning.

I can say over and over again that this is going to be a great day and I even believe that but I can't get out of the fog I am in. I am actually much better when I am on a later schedule and I can't quite figure that out. If I could go to bed at midnight and wake up around eight or nine I would be better but when I have to get up at six I feel like a zombie. I am not kidding either I have no balance when I get up so I walk slowly down the stairs hoping not to fall and watching for the dog who is excited that I am up. I kind of have to hug the wall for a bit until my vision and balance wake up.

My question is why were some people born to get up early?! My mom gets out of bed in a good mood. She likes to be up early and she never wants to shoot someone in the toe just for asking a question before that blessed first cup of coffee. I have tried to change my attitude right when I wake up by laying in bed a few seconds thinking about it and reshaping my morning out look and that just makes me want to sleep more.

I don't think I can be a morning person so I guess what I can do is make sure my attitude is in check as soon as the first sip of coffee hits my lips. I can reflect and work on the shaping my attitude as I drink that desperately needed cup of coffee.

Also I can spend my time planning a business that will allow me to change my schedule so that I can work later and sleep on a schedule that I can tolerate. If I were to have some sort of consulting business I could schedule clients after ten in the morning, if I were to try freelance writing I could write all afternoon and pick it up again after hubby goes to work (he is on a third shift) and go to bed later. So I am up and working on the second cup of coffee now. Hope you all have a great day like I am going to have.

Life Is Amazing

When you close your eyes and picture the future you want and where you are now, what do you see? Well I see something great for my future. I am not sure about the whole picture yet but I am making changes that will bring me closer to that future each day.

I am working out most days and choosing better foods for my health. I am making plans to do work I love and leave a job where I am often treated poorly.

The one thing that has made the biggest change in me the last few weeks is my attitude. I am trying really hard to bury the pessimism in me. I am trying to be positive and look on the bright side in every situation. I am limiting my time and interaction with negative people as much as I can. I am writing a lot more and use my journal when things seem out of my control. Often just writing down what is wrong helps me come up with a solution or at least helps me to change my attitude and learn something from the situation.

I am currently reading The Winning Attitude Your Key To Personal Success by John C. Maxwell and it has a lot of useful information. It is a full of scripture too so I also count it as a Bible study for myself. I am learning how to change my attitude even when I don't feel like it. I am also learning to look at challenges as an opportunity for growth instead of giving up. It is a great book especially following my audio book experience of Today Matters: 12 Daily Practices to Guarantee Tomorrows Success (Maxwell, John C.).


Setting goals and changing my life are helping to make me feel at peace. I don't know how things are going to turn out entirely and plans may have to change but at least I have some peace about where my life is headed now.

Feeling Good This Morning

Every area of my life is starting to look great. I am sure some of that is simply because I have decided to change my attitude and change my life.

I have been complaining about a lot of things lately but now I am going to change them. I am going to take control of my life and not let others dictate how I feel. I have been doing that for a few weeks now and I feel great.

Am I happy that someone keeps getting in my Jeep and stealing the change out of the ashtray and God really only knows what else. No I am not happy but I am going to choose to remember we are looking for a new home and when we find the right one we will move. I do want to take a moment to ask what on earth would possess someone to keep getting in the jeep and leaving the door open when I left it the same as they left it. They took all but one penny?? Are they sleeping in it?? Do they like making people pay for batteries?? Just wondering why you would keep going back to look at the penny?

I don't like where I live any more but I do have a place to live which is more than a lot of people have. So I am going to be grateful that I have a home and just make sure I have a big dog as long as I live here. I am not going to let my feelings make me rush into buying a house that we don't really want either. So we are going to take our time and look closely at the homes and decide what we want to do not what we feel we need to do out of fear.

I have also decided that renewing my Social Work License is a great way to go. If I want a business of my own I need to keep my credentials even if I don't practice in a Social Work job. Sad thing is I thought I let them expire but when I went to check I have until the 22nd. I have signed up for some online continuing education credits and am waiting to hear back if my semester in college counts for anything. I am thinking one course should count the other two I might have trouble proving. So I have less than two week to get these credits in unless they will give me an extension. I can do this it will just take up a lot of my time. I am going to start tomorrow with an ethics course or two since that is the only practice area requirement. Then if my college classes count that is all I have to take to renew. If by some chance I don't meet the deadline all is not lost. I don't loose my license but there is like a waiting period before I can call myself a licensed Social Worker again because of late renewal.

So after a bunch of research and reading the last two weeks I am ready to just have a day off. I am going to go to a new church this morning and then to the grocery store and home to walk the dog if I have time before we go look at houses. This morning I am going to drink coffee and write blog posts and catch up with some bloggers. The late service isn't until 12:30 so I have a few hours to just relax.

Start Your Own Coaching Business Book Review

This book was a very good basic overview of the business. That is also all it was a quick look into the mechanics of the business. It was a good and inexpensive way to figure out if starting this business was something you wanted to do. There is a lot of good advice in the book and a lot of advice that goes against all of my financial convictions.

I can not recommend this book without saying his financial advice can be thrown in a lake with a rock tied around it so it can't surface. Now on that note his business planning advise is worth every penny. As you can see I had a hard time reading this book after he continued to advocate student loans and borrowing money. Lots of people run their business on credit but I don't plan to go down that road. 

He does redeem himself in many cases by warning you against quitting you day job before you make this your only source of income and by helping you figure out what it means to make a profit. He does let you know that you have to make a living doing it or you have to find a way to cut the costs.

Over all if you are not expecting a lot of detail on operating a business or the actual coaching it is a great book. I am probably a little (I mean a lot) crazy when it comes to financial advice that could get some one stuck with 200,000 dollars in student loans and possibly no way to pay them back if their business fails. I am just hate owing money and I live by that principal. I don't even like to have to take a mortgage and I will be stuck in the situation where I have to say I owe, I owe so off work I go, to the job I hate but have to stay at until I die if I want to keep up with the bills.

Updates On My New Blog

Soon I will have updates here as well but I would like some traffic to the new site as well so here is a link. I would love some feedback. Activate Your Dreams

In this post I discuss many areas I intend to improve in my life and the areas that I do well in even when life feels dark. I discuss some of the issues I have been having with family and health.

There are is not acceptable excuses anymore for me I am going to make my dreams come true, especially since I have realized that dreams can change. The dreams I had ten years ago are not the same as they are today. If they change while I am trying to attain them I just need to make a new plan.

On that note if you read my second post I have already written a plan of action when dealing with my family and I am going to type it up in a more comprehensive way and then I will post a bit of it there.